培養這４個習慣，人人可成為後天的社交高手

原文鏈接：培養這４個習慣，人人可成為後天的社交高手

工作上的所有事情幾乎都可以劃成四個象限：第一類是喜歡做，又剛好有機會發揮；第二類是喜歡但礙於現實無法盡興完成的；第三類是不喜歡，且非常幸運可以不用接觸的；第四類是既不喜歡，但得硬著頭皮上的。「人脈建立」（Networking），對多數上班族而言，似乎很不幸地落在第四象限。

美國社會學家Mark Granovetter以弱連結理論（Weak Ties Theory）指出，泛泛之交、宴會裡偶遇的陌生人、在Facebook短暫互動的網友，反而會比關係密切的親友、同事帶來多於58％的幫助。人際溝通儼然成為目前職場必備能力，這也是為什麼不管是新人或老手，在職場上都要妥善經營人脈的原因。Jon Levy用分析行為科學的經驗，輔以具體的理論，說明就算不是天生社交好手，也能培養4個習慣改善社交恐懼，拓展人脈更上手。

一、Give and Take：比起索取，不如當一個給予者

二、富蘭克林效應：人脈是「麻煩」出來的，別害怕開口

三、聚光燈效應：別放大別人對自己的看法

四、資訊鴻溝理論：新鮮事刺激多巴胺分泌，聊天更愉快

要降低工作壓力，考慮你如何分配時間

當你想要降低工作壓力，尤其是在你已經出現工作進度落後時，但是不知道如何做。你首先必須評估你確實可以做多少工作。

例如，你可以設定你願意一周工作40 – 50小時。然後，用這個設定作為檢查點。如果你感覺這樣的時間長度對你還是太大了，那麼可以縮小到以一天8小時為單位，並且設法提早15分鐘結束，並且檢查你這一天的工作進度。

如果發現你不能如期達成預訂的工作目標，那麼檢討一下，是那些事妨礙了你：參加太多會議嗎？太多的干擾？缺乏足夠的資源？設法針對這些問題採取必要的行動。

一開始，你或許會覺得不適應。但是，若不是必須降低對工作目標的承諾，或是排除障礙，你很難降低你的工作壓力。

Reduce work stress and consider how you can allocate time

When you want to reduce work stress, especially when you have been behind in work, you don't know how to do it. You must first assess how much work you can do.

For example, you can set up your willingness to work 40 to 50 hours a week. Then, use this setting as a checkpoint. If you feel that the length of time is too large for you, it can be reduced to 8 hours per day, and try to finish 15 minutes earlier, and check the progress of your day.

If you find that you can't achieve the goal of the work scheduled on schedule, then review it, what is hindering you: taking part in too many meetings? Too much interference? Lack of sufficient resources? Try to take necessary action against these problems.

At the beginning, you might feel uncomfortable. However, it is difficult to reduce the pressure of your work if it is not necessary to reduce the commitment to the work goal or to remove the obstacles.

如何拒絕一個會議邀請而不會失禮？

接到會議邀請，有的時候是你職務上的義務，也是你的榮譽。但是，你可能在該時段已經安排了其他既定的互動，或是你實在沒有多餘精力參加會議，或是有其他原因讓你不是那麼願意參加會議。那麼，你如何拒絕會議邀請，而不至於損害關係或是失去禮貌呢？你可以考慮以下做法：

1. 我可以建議其他人嗎？花些功夫考慮誰適當代表你出席會議而不會讓別人會認為你在逃避責任。
2. 我可以在會議前就做出貢獻嗎？用幾分鐘將你對會議議題的意見整理起來，然後請代表人為你發言，并聽取回饋。
3. 我可以做半場的出席嗎？如果會議中有些議題和你無關，你可以要求只參加和你相關的議題討論。

How to refuse an invitation to a meeting without being rude?
It is sometimes your duty and honor to receive an invitation to a meeting. However, you may have scheduled other scheduled interactions during that period, or you may not have the extra energy to attend the meeting, or there are other reasons why you are not so willing to attend the meeting. So how do you turn down an invitation to a meeting without damaging your relationship or losing your manners? You can consider the following::

1. Can I suggest someone else? Take some effort to consider who represented you to attend the meeting without letting others think you are escaping responsibility.
2. Can I make a contribution before the meeting? Take a few minutes to sort out your opinions on the meeting, and then please speak to you and listen to the feedback.
3. Can I do half-time attendance? If there are some issues that have nothing to do with you in the meeting, you can ask only to discuss the issues that are related to you.

以保護自己的時間提高工作生產力

如果你希望能夠完成更多的工作，你必須掌握自己的時間的主導權。能夠讓我們滿意的工作，通常是我們自己有興趣參與，以及自己啟動的項目。

看看自己的工作內容，有哪些是已經可以有標準作業程序（SOP）或是可以授權委託他人。對於那些不在自己優先次序的請求，勇敢的拒絕，將自己的關注力放在只有自己可以完成的工作項目上。

了解自己實際的生理承受能量，睡眠充足，有適當的運動量。工作每隔最多90分鐘，就休息片刻，做深呼吸、活動筋骨。適時的安排休假。

高生產力的人不會看待休息是停止工作，而是對未來產生績效的必要投資。

Improve work productivity by protecting your own time

If you want to be able to do more work, you have to take control of your time. The work that can satisfy us is usually our own interest in participation and the project that we start.

Look at what you work on, what you can have a standard operating procedure (SOP) or authorization to delegate to others. For those who are not in their own priorities, bravely refuses and put your attention on work that can be done only you can do.

Understand your physical energy, sleep well, and have a proper amount of exercise. Work every 90 minutes, rest for a moment, do deep breathing, activity and bones. Arrange vacation at the right time.

High productivity people don't see rest as stop work, but a necessary investment in future performance.

不要過度在意你的工作進度目標

我一方面提醒工作進度計劃的功效與必要性，但是也認知並非每人都能夠適應運用工作進度表來管制自己的工作。這多半的原因是和人的個性有關，有些人即使不用工作進度表，也能夠自我設定目標，知道有哪些具體的工作必須進行，他們有很好的自我管理能力。這樣有自我管理能力的人，若是採用工作進度表，反而會讓他做起事來礙手礙腳，不能自我發揮。

因此，你應該評估自己的特性，考慮是否採用工作進度表來管理自己的工作。以下幾點評估方式，供您參考：

1. 評估自己是否能夠適應。如果你已經感覺用進度表來監視自己的工作，會感覺不舒服，那麼，你可以考慮不要那麼在乎，或是不要採用。自己另外安排合適的工作管理方式。
2. 思考是否有效。思考一下，採用工作進度表是因為你發現確實有效果，還是因為你認為應該如此做？
3. 不要太在意別人的期待。除非你確實必須在團隊協作中，以工作進度來配合或是管理他人和你之間的工作整合，否則，你不需要太過在意別人如何看待你的工作進度與實際達成的成果。
4. 活出自己來。不要以自己的工作進度成果來作為評量自己價值的指標。你是為自己的理想與熱情而奮鬥，而非為了一張進度表機械地生活工作著。

Don't worry too much about your progress goals

On the one hand, I remind the effectiveness and necessity of work schedule, but I also don't know that everyone can adapt himself to the work schedule to control his work. Most of the reasons are related to personality. Some people can set goals even if they don't have work schedules, and know what specific tasks are needed to carry out. They have good self-management ability. Such a person who has the ability to manage himself, if he adopts the work schedule, will let him do things in the way that he can't exert himself. 

Therefore, you should assess your own features and consider whether to use a work schedule to manage your own work. The following evaluation methods for your reference:

1. Assess whether you can adapt. If you feel that you are feeling uncomfortable using a schedule to monitor your work, then you can consider not caring, or not. In addition, arrange the appropriate way of work management.
2. Think about whether it works. Think about the use of the work schedule because do you find it really effective or because you think it should be done?
3. Don’t care too much about the expectations of others. Unless you really have to cooperate in teamwork or manage the integration of others and your work, you don't have to worry too much about how others perceive your progress and actual achievements.
4. Live out of yourself. Don't use your work progress as an indicator of your value. You are fighting for your ideal and passion rather than working on a schedule for a mechanical life.

以穩定的進度達成工作目標

我們通常會比較容易受到腎上腺激素刺激而傾向於花很大的精力來做有完成期限壓力的工作，或是傾向於撿那些容易讓我們興奮的工作項目，而無視于各項工作之間的邏輯性或是平衡性。

然而，究竟如何安排工作才能讓你的整體工作具有高生產力，而且讓你有持續力，也能成為你的工作習慣？

一個有規劃的個人作息安排比較能夠支持你的工作，反之亦然。例如，睡眠充足，能夠讓你工作比較有效率。同樣的，按時完成每日的工作，也會讓你睡眠比較安心。

其次，在規劃你的工作進度表時，在你安排工作項目與進度時，要考慮到你總共擁有的時間與精力總量(capacity)。例如，學生還剩下2個月就要迎接考試，該如何安排閱讀進度，做好迎接考試的準備？

接著，你就可以擬定每天或是每天應該完成閱讀的教材單元、應該做完哪些作業？

將每段進度都訂出小的進度目標，你就能夠穩定的按時達成大目標。

安排工作計劃表，也能夠讓你發現比較艱難而必須專注解決的主要困難。

Achieve work goals at a steady pace

We tend to be more likely to be stimulated by adrenalin and tend to spend a lot of energy on deadlines, or tend to pick up work items that are easy to get excited about, and ignore the logic or balance between work.

However, how can you arrange your work to make your whole work highly productive and maintain your sustainability and your working habits?

A planned personal schedule can support your work, and vice versa. For example, adequate sleep can make you work more efficiently. Similarly, completing the daily work on time will also make your sleep more comfortable.

Secondly, when planning your work schedule, when you arrange work items and progress, you should take into account the total time and energy you have in total (capacity). For example, students still have 2 months to meet the exam. How to arrange the reading progress and prepare for the examination?

After that, you can draw up the teaching material that you should finish reading every day or every day, and what assignments should be done.

With each progress scheduled for a small progress goal, you can achieve a big goal on time.

Arranging work schedules can also help you find the main difficulties that need to be solved.

不要浪費時間去接冒失的電話

儘管有人主張電話對話是最有效的工作工具，但是有很多理由告訴我們應該避開使用電話來解決問題。最主要的理由是考慮到生產力。

若是你正在處理一件事時，接到一通未預期的電話，對工作的破壞力是可觀的。你很困難在這樣冒失的電話中做出妥當的決定。例如，你該在電話中如何回應客戶要求報價？你需要時間思考整理，或是你需要妥善的語言來拒絕。

要減少這些不具生產力的電話，你可以設法批次處理這些電話要求，例如在週二或是週四下午。

如果有人冒失的給你電話，你可以這樣對他說：“和我聯繫最好的方式是使用郵件，我會閱讀後給你回應。”如此，他們會知道你樂意和他們對談，但是要用你期望的溝通方式，而非他們安排的。

Don't waste your time answering rash phone calls
Although some people argue that telephone conversations are the most effective tools, there are many reasons to tell us that we should avoid using the phone to solve the problem. The main reason is the consideration of productivity.

If you are dealing with one thing, receiving an unanticipated phone call is a great damage to the job. It is difficult for you to make a proper decision on such an offensive phone. For example, how do you respond to a customer's request on the phone? You need time to think about it, or you need a good language to refuse.

To reduce these unproductive calls, you can manage to deal with these phone calls, such as Tuesday or Thursday afternoon.

If someone calls you boldly, you can say to him, "The best way to contact me is to use mail, and I'll respond to you after I read it." So, they will know that you are willing to talk with them, but use the way you want to communicate, not what they arranged.

早晨上班，就先處理困難的email

我們經常被灌輸一個概念，就是一早上班就檢查email是個會傷害一天工作生產力的作法。但是擱置你的郵件信箱不做處理，也會導致另外一個問題，email通常就是要求你做出困難的決定，然而通常你也不容易給出好的答案。

然而，一個人的決策能量是有限的，而且愈是拖延，你的決策品質會愈差。所以，你愈是拖延不處理email, 你愈是困難去解決它。

所以，在一早上班時，最好先在你頭腦最清新的時候，花20 – 30分鐘來先處理你的email。如此做，你會比較能夠輕鬆地在稍後處理其他比較容易應對的其他email。

When you go to work in the morning, deal the difficult mail first

We are often taught the idea that checking email at early at work is hurt productivity at a day's work. However, if you leave your email box without processing, it will lead to another problem. Email usually ask you to make difficult decisions, but usually you are not easy to give good answers.

However, a person's decision making energy is limited, and the more procrastinate,the more you don't deal with email,the more difficult to solve it.

So, at work at early morning,it's better to take 20 - 30 minutes to process your email when your mind is fresh. By doing so, you will be able to handle other email that is easier to deal with later.

要求加薪時，強調你對公司的忠誠

你可能聽過這樣的說法；“要提高工作收入，唯一的做法是跳槽換工作。”是的，外界可能比較有機會提供較高的工資給你。但是，你的做法要很謹慎。否則，你將要面臨你對公司不忠誠的風險，即使你並非真的有意離開公司。

與其讓老闆以為你要做出威脅，還不如讓他們感受你的加薪要求是基於你對公司的忠誠。

即使你已經與其他公司面談過了，你還是可以強調你對公司的忠誠。你可以這樣說：“我接到一些獵頭公司的邀請，但是我沒有興趣離開公司。”或是，“我去參加過別的公司邀聘的面談，是因為我想要知道其他公司如何評估我。我還是喜歡我們的公司，但是我希望獲得公平的工資。”

When you ask for a raise, emphasize your loyalty to the company

You may have heard this saying, "The only way to improve your work income is to change jobs." Yes, the outside world may have a better opportunity to provide a higher salary for you. But you have to be very careful. Otherwise, you will have to face your risk of disloyalty to the company, even if you don't really want to leave the company.

Rather than let your boss think you’re threatening, it's better to let them feel your increase in salary is based on your loyalty to the company.

Even if you have been interviewed with other companies, you can still emphasize your loyalty to the company. You can say, "I've been invited by some headhunting companies, but I'm not interested in leaving the company." Or, I went to an interview with another company because I wanted to know how other companies evaluated me. I still like our company, but I want a fair salary. "

一步步地準備邁向職業改變

如果你希望切換到新的職業跑道，但是擔心驟然離開原有的工作而讓你處於不安定的狀態，你應該如何做？你如何做出決定？

你可以先從認識自己的熱情與興趣開始。注意哪些事可以激發出你的潛能，可以讓你興奮？一旦你知道你希望追求什麼，就可以開始去熟悉與研究相關的知識，並且開始嘗試做出一些相關的成果，例如寫一些該領域的文章。

與其頓然做出重大的決定，試著先做一些低風險、相關的項目，例如成為該領域某個部分的顧問。

注意，要成為新的專業，是一個持續發展的過程。

Step by step towards a career change

What should you do if you want to switch to a new professional runway, but worry about a sudden departure from the job that makes you in an unstable state? How do you make a decision?

You can start by knowing your passion and interest first. Pay attention to what can inspire your potential and make you excited? Once you know what you want to pursue, you can begin to familiarize yourself with the related knowledge and begin to try to make some related achievements, such as writing some articles in your industry.

Instead of suddenly make important decisions, try to do some low risk and related projects, such as a part of the industry adviser.

Attention, to become a new professional, is a continuous process of development.

切換職業跑道而不需要犧牲你的資深威望

許多有經驗的專業人士希望有機會切換到新的職業工作，但是他們憂慮必須從基層開始做起，因而會繼續待在原工作上，士氣低落，不愉快。但是，還是有方法讓你在切換到新跑道，甚至是換到新的職業領域時，可以不犧牲你辛苦贏來的資深威望。以下三個作法可以參考：

1. 運用你的光環效應。認知你已經在你專業領域中建立了成功威望。人們有可能會承認你是優秀的專業人才，也因此有機會在新的領域很快的建立起你的新名望。
2. 運用你的優勢。將你過去建立起來的優勢發揮出來，例如你熟悉某些產業或人脈，因而比較有機會將它們和你的新的工作連接起來，產生新的發展機會。
3. 找到需要你專業的發展機會。有些公司正希望轉型，脫胎換骨，會期望能夠聘僱到他們原來缺乏的新的專業人才。

Switch to a professional runway without sacrificing your senior prestige

Many experienced professionals hope to have the opportunity to switch to new jobs, but they worry that they must start at the grassroots level, so they will continue to work in the original work, with low morale and unhappiness. But there's a way to switch to a new runway, or even to a new career, without sacrificing your hard-earned prestige. The following three practices can be consulted:

1. Use your halo effect. Knowing that you have established a successful prestige in your field. It is possible to admit that you are a good professional and that you will have the opportunity to build up your new fame quickly in the new field.
2. Use your advantage. Take advantage of what you built up in the past, for example, you are familiar with some industries or connections, so you have chances to connect them with your new job and create new opportunities for development.
3. Find opportunities for your professional development. Some companies are looking for a transformation, a radical transformation, and a desire to hire new professionals they previously lacked.