控制你對屬下的負面情緒

領導主管免不了會對他的屬下員工感到挫折。這是可以理解的。也許是有人報告遲交了，也許是有人影響了整個項目的按時完成，或是工作品質不良。也許是有人犯了大錯。

即使是你自己願意抗下屬下員工的責任，你的情緒肯定會受到影響了。你和屬下員工的關係會開始尷尬、凍僵。

要降低這樣的負面情緒，試著想你自己的想法是透明的，即使是每一名員工都可以完全看到你在想些什麼、你的感受是如何的？如此做，你就有機會去用別人的觀點來看待自己，因而可以找到一個彼此溝通的方式。

而且，更棒的是，你以後就能建立起一個可以管理自己負面看待屬下員工的情緒的模式。

Control your negative thoughts towards your subordinates

A competent leader will inevitably feel frustration on his staff. This is understandable. Maybe someone report late, maybe someone has affected the entire project completed on time, or the quality of work is bad, or somebody made a mistake.

Even if you are willing to take responsibilities of employees under your subordinates, your emotions will certainly be affected. The relationship between you and your employees will begin to be awkward and frozen.

To reduce such negative emotion, try your own ideas is transparent, even every one of the staff can see what you're thinking, how do you feel? Then, you have the opportunity to see yourself on other’s perspective. So we can find a communication way with each other.

And, better yet, you'll be able to build up a model that can manage your negative feelings about your employees in the future。

在評估企業文化之前，不要輕易接受企業的錄用

你去應征一份工作，獲得了錄取通知書（offer letter）。現在你面臨必須决定是否接受它？

首先，你必須對這家公司及其員工做要對組織盡職調查（due diligence），以瞭解你是否願意在那裡工作？

問問自己，“這是一個我會快樂工作的地方嗎？”我會面臨哪些挑戰？我會有哪些成長的機會？”然後，透過你的人脈網，問諸如：“這個公司的企業文化如何？這個公司的員工一般會待多久？”之類的問題。可能的話，設法和這個公司一名現職的員工聊聊。你可以說: “我真的很想多了解這公司，我可以和團隊呆幾個小時嗎？”

當然，你不能談判或改變公司的文化，但事先知道你要做什麼是有幫助的。

Before you evaluate the culture of an enterprise, do not accept the offer

You go to apply for a job and get an offer letter. Now you have to decide whether to accept it or not.

First of all, you have to do the due diligence to the company and its employees to see if you want to work there.

Ask yourself, "Is this the place I will work there happy? What kind of challenges I will face there? What kinds of growth opportunities I can get there? " Then, through your network, ask questions such as:" How the company culture? How long time in general the company employees will stay? If possible, and try to a serving employees in this company have a chat. You can say:" I really want to know more about this company. Can I stay for a few hours with the team?"
Of course, you can't negotiate or change the company's culture, but it's helpful to know beforehand what you're going to do.

在進行艱難對話前，做好計劃

你曾經不斷拖延一場重要而困難的談話嗎？或許，是你不願意承認犯了一個錯？或是，你不堪對方可能對你做非事實的攻擊？

但是，你拖愈久不願意和人對話，事情只會愈糟糕。你應該盡快進行必要的對話。

如果你感覺這確實是一場艱難的談話，那麼，你可以預先做好準備。

寫下你打算如何提出這個問題，以及可能會遇到哪些質問，而有哪些對應的答案？包含你可以接受的底線？或是，你可以要求對方給予建議方案的選擇嗎？

另外，當你提出問題時，你有客觀的作證資料嗎？你能夠分辨哪些是偏見嗎？

用事實說話。即使你對對方的態度難以接受，也試著這樣說：“你三次這樣說…”,取代“你在這次會議上對我非常不尊重。” 你有事實支持你的立場與觀點，就有機會取得對方對你的尊重。

Make a plan before having a difficult conversation

Have you ever been procrastinating on an important and difficult conversation? Maybe you don't want to admit that you've made a mistake Or, do you feel that the other person may attack you in a non-factual way?

But you don't want to talk to people for a longer time, and things just get worse. You should have the necessary dialogue as soon as possible.

If you feel that this is really a tough conversation, then you can be prepared in advance.

Write down what you're going to ask about this question, and what kinds of questions you might encounter, and what are the answers? Include the bottom line that you can accept? Or, can you ask the other party to give you a choice?

In addition, do you have objective evidence when you ask questions? Can you tell which ones are biased?

Speak with facts. Try to say, "You say it three times,..." Instead, "You don't respect me very much at this meeting." When you have facts to support your position and opinion, you have the opportunity to gain respect from the other person.