如何避免爭執衝突升級？

當我們氣憤地預備與人爭執時，會讓我們的對話對象更聽不清我們在說什麼，並且通常會迫使對方更激烈的爭執。以後，當有人說了某事而讓你想要與他爭執時，請用下列作法將爭執轉化為合作，并可以避免爆發衝突。

1. 深呼吸一口。先想一下你預備說出口什麼，然後考慮究竟要不要說出來。你的第一直覺通常是你受到了羞辱或是攻擊。
2. 再吸一口氣。接著，你想要說的或許是事實，但是這可能只會升高緊張度。不要這樣做。
3. 找出解決方案。第三個順序是想想如何解決問題。只有你拋開想要辯解爭執的念頭，你才會有比較好的機會和對方達到解決問題的共識。

How to avoid the escalation of disputes and conflicts?

When we are angrily prepared to argue with others, it will make our conversation partners harder to hear what we are talking about, and usually force them to argue more intensely. Later, when someone says something and makes you want to argue with him, please use the following ways to turn the dispute into cooperation and avoid conflict.

1. Take a deep breath. Think about what you are going to say first, and then consider whether you want to say it or not. Your first instinct is usually that you are humiliated or attacked.
2. Take another breath. Next, what you want to say may be true, but it may only increase tension. Don't do that.
3. Find solutions. The third order is to think about how to solve the problem. Only if you put aside the idea of arguing, you will have a better chance to reach a consensus with the other party to solve the problem.

如何向人提出請求幫忙？

在一生當中，我們經常説明別人，或是需要他人説明。例如，幫朋友訂個餐廳包廂，或是介紹一個客戶給他。

但是，請朋友幫個大忙，可是件艱巨的事。你總要設法回報的。

下次，當你需要他人提供幫忙時，試試用以下的步驟：

1. 隱喻回報。直接了當的說出你的請求，例如：【我想請你幫個忙】這樣說，隱喻了你會改天找個機會給予回報。
2. 說明理由。人們通常希望知道你為什麼要他幫忙，說:【請你幫我出席下午的業務會議】，不如說:【請你幫我出席下午的業務會議，因為恰好下午有個客戶臨時來訪。】
3. 給對方台階下。沒有人喜歡被強迫提供幫助。你可以這樣說：【如果你不方便，我可以理解】，或是說：【我明白你很忙】。

How to ask for help?

In life, we often explain others or need others to explain. For example, book a restaurant box for a friend or introduce a customer to him.

But it's hard to ask a friend for a big help. You always try to get something back.

Next time you need help, try the following steps:

1. Metaphorical reward. Speaking directly about your request, for example, [I want to ask you a favor], is a metaphor that you will find another day to give back.
2. Explain the reasons. People usually want to know why you want his help and say, [Please help me attend the business meeting in the afternoon], rather, [Please help me attend the business meeting in the afternoon, because it happens that a client comes to visit me temporarily in the afternoon. ]
3. Give each other a step. No one likes being forced to help. You can say, [I can understand if it's inconvenient to you], or, [I understand you're busy].

三招優雅地結束冗長的會話

一段太過冗長的會話，會讓你不勝其煩。

這裡有三招，可以讓你優雅而不失禮的結束會話：

1. 說聲【很感謝你的時間】。你不需要不誠意而做作地表示感謝，只需要說【很感謝你的時間。】
2. 插入一個突發的事件。這是一個比較客氣的切斷會話的方式。試試看這麼說：【不好意思，我剛想起我與朋友約好11點要見面，再不過去，就要遲到了。】，或是：【真對不起，我必須走了，我必須在5分鐘內赴約。】
3. 建議另外訂個時間接續討論。告訴他，你會認真地閱讀他提出的檔，或是你會轉給另外一位同事研究。但是，這只有在你確實願意如此承諾，才可以另訂約談時間。

Three ways to end a lengthy conversation gracefully

A conversation that is too long will annoy you.

Here are three ways to end your conversation gracefully and politely:

1. Speak up [Thank you for your time]. You don't need to show your gratitude without sincerity, just say, [Thank you very much for your time. ]
2. Insert an unexpected event. This is a more polite way to cut off the conversation. Try saying this: [Sorry, I just remembered that I had an appointment with my friend at 11 o'clock, but I'm going to be late. 】 Or: [Sorry, I have to go. I have to make an appointment in five minutes. ]
3. It is suggested that another time be set for further discussion. Tell him that you will read his file carefully, or you will transfer it to another colleague for research. However, only if you are willing to make such a commitment can you make another appointment.

內向的人也可以開拓人脈

建立人脈網對於開拓生意是很關鍵的。但是，如果你是天性內向而不喜歡在群體中與陌生人交談，你怎麼辦？

試試下面的作法：

1. 找單獨的人交談。群體中的互動通常會讓內向者感到不適。你可以試著找個別的人做面對面的交談。
2. 想想如何可以把自己推廣出去。內向的人通常羞赧于將自己介紹出去。但是，你可以考慮採用社交媒體來介紹自己。你可以用Facebook、微博等工具。好好寫下你的經歷、專長、興趣、以及你的興趣內容，參與一些你感興趣的話題，參與回應、討論，讓人們主動來與你接觸。這樣虛擬的接觸方式，會讓你自己感到比較舒坦。
3. 重新充電。花一些時間多學習新知識，接觸新的新聞。如此會讓你在與人交往時有比較多的話題與人交談。
4. 放鬆自己。設法不要讓自己感到緊張。你可以在預備與人交談前，出去外面散散心，調和自己的情緒。

Introverts can also open up connections

Establishing a network of people is critical to business development. But what if you are introverted by nature and don't like to talk to strangers in groups?

Try the following:

1. Talk to a single person. Interaction in groups often makes introverts uncomfortable. You can try to talk to individual people face to face.
2. Think about how you can promote yourself. Introverts are usually shy of introducing themselves. However, you can consider using social media to introduce yourself. You can use tools like Facebook, Weibo, etc. Write down your experiences, expertise, interests, and content of your interests. Participate in topics of interest to you. Participate in responses and discussions. Let people come to contact you on their own initiative. This virtual way of contact will make you feel more comfortable.
3. Recharge. Spend some time learning new knowledge and getting in touch with new news. This will allow you to have more conversations with people when you interact with them.
4. Relax yourself. Try not to make yourself nervous. You can go out to relax and reconcile your emotions before you are ready to talk to others.

學習從批評中獲得指導教訓

多數人不喜歡受到批評，但是學習接受他人的批評是你成長與邁向成功的關鍵。讓我們有雅量接受批評。

他人給我們的回饋意見，有些是告訴我們目前發展的程度，例如，工作的績效是80分，有些則是在給我們指導教訓，而這正是我們可以改進之處。

你不要因為得了80分，就不思繼續進步，也必須會聽取他的的批評中有我們可以改進之處。

以後，不要等正式的績效檢討，而可以全年都隨時請老闆或同事給你任何回饋。你不要只是說“敬請批評指導。”，而應該讓你的請求更像是可以管理改進的程序，例如：“我做的哪一件事，或是沒有做的哪一件事，你覺得不恰當？” 這樣提問，就可以得到很具體的回饋意見。

Learn to draw lessons from criticism

Most people don't like to be criticized, but learning to accept criticism from others is the key to your growth and success. Let's accept criticism gracefully.

Some of the feedback we receive from others tells us the current level of development. For example, the performance of our work is 80 points. Others are giving us guidance and lessons, which is what we can improve.

You don't want to make progress because you have scored 80 points. You must also listen to his criticisms about what we can improve.

Later, instead of waiting for a formal performance review, you can always ask your boss or colleagues for any feedback throughout the year. You don't just say, "Please criticize and guide." Instead, make your request more like a program that can manage improvements, such as, "What do you think is inappropriate for me to do, or for what I haven't done?" In this way, you can get very specific feedback.

看到不對的事，應該緘默嗎？

無論你是公司資深員工或是新人，看到不對的事要舉報出來，都是很困難的。但是，如果你保持緘默，可能對公司以及你的事業前途產生相當不利的後果。

以下，是一些最常出現讓人保持緘默的藉口，以及正確的應對方式：

1. 這不是我的工作。你不必是當值的人員，或是一名專家，或是有正當授權的人來舉報。做對公司最好的事情，永遠是你的工作。
2. 這沒什麼大不了的。如果你真的對自己這麼說，這事兒可能真的會變成大問題了。與其低估問題的嚴重性，不如試著找出解決方案。
3. 這是標準作業程序。即使你們公司過去總是這麼操作，如果這樣做會在現在或是在未來產生問題，你應該挑戰這個現況。

Should you keep silent when you see something wrong?

Whether you are a senior employee or a new employee, it is difficult to report something wrong. However, if you remain silent, it may have quite adverse consequences for the company and your career prospects.

Here are some of the most common excuses for silence and the right way to deal with it:

1. This is not my job. You don't have to be a person on duty, or an expert, or someone with legitimate authority to report. It's always your job to do the best thing for the company.
2. It's nothing serious. If you really say that to yourself, it could really become a big problem. Instead of underestimating the seriousness of the problem, try to find a solution.
3. This is the standard operating procedure. Even if your company has always done this in the past, you should challenge this situation if it will cause problems now or in the future.