要展開艱難的對話，先把重點放在雙方有的共識上

當你和同事討論一個棘手的問題時，你最初的幾句話可能導致或打斷討論。自衛是正常的，甚至把責任推到別人身上，但暗示對方錯了，這會使談話變得更糟。

通過建立你和他人之間的共同點來為成功做好準備。陳述你們已經達成的共識——目標重疊的地方。你可能會說：“我們都想確保我們的病人得到最好的照顧”或“我們同意新的電子郵件系統應該與我們現有的IT系統整合”。

如果你不能找出共同點，或者你不確定對方的目標是什麼，最容易的方法就是提出問題。解釋什麼對你來說很重要，然後問：“和你關心的東西有什麼重疊嗎？或者你有另一個目標？像這樣的問題是合作的基調。

To carry out a difficult dialogue, focus on consensus on both parties

When you discuss a problem with your colleagues, your first few words may lead to or interrupt the discussion. Self-defense is normal, even pushing the responsibility onto others, but suggesting that the other side is wrong, which will make the conversation worse.

To prepare for success by establishing a common point between you and others. A statement of the local goal you have reached an overlapping consensus. You might say: "We want to ensure that our patients get the best care." or "We agree to the new email system should integrate with our existing IT system."

If you can't find common points, or you are not sure what their goal is, the easiest way is to ask questions. What are important to you, and then asked: "What you care about and what is the overlap? Or do you have another goal?” Such question is the tone of cooperation.

如何在整日的工作中做專注力訓練？

你可能對這種感覺瞭解得很清楚：你在辦公室裏有一個清晰的一天計畫，然後，在感覺像一瞬間的時候，你發現自己在回家的路上。9到10個小時過去了，但你只完成了幾個優先事項。而且，很可能，你甚至一整天都記不清你幹了什麼。如果這聽起來很熟悉，別擔心。你並不孤單。人們在醒著的時候花了將近有一半的時間去想別的事情而不是他們正在做的事情。換句話說，我們中的許多人在自動駕駛儀上操作。

此外，我們已經進入了許多人所說的“注意力經濟”。在注意力經濟中，保持專注和專注的能力和科技或管理技能一樣重要。由於領導人需要吸收和綜合大量的資訊，以便作出正確的決策，他們受到這一新興趨勢的特別打擊。

好消息是你可以通過一整天的專注力訓練（Mindfulness Exercise）來活化你的大腦更好地集中注意力。這裡有一些指導方針，可以使他們成為一個更加專注和有意識的領導者。

首先，從你的一天開始。研究人員發現，我們清醒後幾分鐘內會釋放大量的壓力荷爾蒙。為什麼？因為想到未來的一天，就會觸發我們的戰鬥本能或逃跑本能，並將皮質醇釋放到我們的血液中。相反，試著這樣做：當你醒來時，在床上呆上兩分鐘，只要注意到你的呼吸。當你想到這一天的時候，就讓它們去，回到你的呼吸中去。

下一步，當你到達辦公室，在你的辦公桌或你的車上花10分鐘，在你投入活動之前，用一個簡短的專注力訓練（Mindfulness Exercise）來提高你的大腦。閉上眼睛，放鬆，坐直。把你的注意力全部集中在你的呼吸上。簡單地保持對你呼吸經驗的持續注意力：吸氣、呼氣、吸氣、呼氣。為了讓你的注意力停留在呼吸上，每次呼氣都要安靜地數。每當你發現你的注意力分散時，只要把注意力集中在你的呼吸上，就可以分散注意力。最重要的是，讓自己享受這幾分鐘。在接下來的一整天里，和其他人競爭的迫切性將會分散你的注意力。但在這10分鐘裏，你的注意力都是你自己的。

一旦你完成了這個練習並準備開始工作，專注力可以提高你的效率。兩種技能定義一個有意識的頭腦：專注和意識。更明確地說，專注是專注於你此刻所做的事情的能力，而意識則是意識到並釋放不必要的干擾的能力。要明白專注不僅僅是靜坐練習，正念是培養敏銳、清晰的頭腦。行動中的專注是對多工的虛幻實踐的一個很好的替代。用心工作意味著從你進入辦公室的那一刻起，將注意力和意識集中到你所做的每一件事上。專注於手頭的工作，並意識到並釋放內部和外部的干擾。這樣，專注有助於提高效率，減少錯誤，甚至增強創造力。

為了更好地瞭解焦點和意識的力量，考慮一個幾乎觸及到我們所有人的痛苦：電子郵件的成癮。電子郵件會引誘我們的注意力轉為低優先順序任務因為完成小任務，會快速釋放多巴胺，這是一種讓我們感到愉快的荷爾蒙。這會讓我們沉迷於電子郵件，損害了我們的注意力。相反，在打開收件箱時應用專注力，把注意力集中在重要的事情上，保持對僅僅是譟音的意識。為了更好地開始你的一天，避免在早晨第一件事就是查看你的電子郵件。這樣做可以幫助你避開一段特殊的注意力和創造力期間的分心和短期問題。

隨著日子一天天過去，不可避免的背靠背會議開始，專注力可以幫助你領導更短、更有效的會議。為了避免與走神的人開會，花兩分鐘練習專注力。你可以在去開會的時候這樣做。更好的是，讓會議的前兩分鐘保持安靜，讓每個人都能在身體和精神上到達。然後，如果可能的話，在會議前五分鐘結束會議，以便所有與會者都能有意識地過渡到下一次會議。

隨著時間的推移，你的大腦開始疲勞，專注力可以幫助你保持敏銳，避免糟糕的決定。午飯後，在你的手機上設定一個計時器，每小時響一次。當計時器響起時，停止你當前的活動，做一分鐘的專注力練習。這些有意識的效能突破將有助於防止你使用自動駕駛儀的狀態和無意識的增加工作，或不會拒絕無意義的工作。

How to do concentration training in the whole day?

You may have a clear idea of this feeling: you have a clear day plan at the office, and then, when it feels like an instant, you find yourself on your way home. Nine to ten hours have passed, but you have only accomplished a few priorities. And, most likely, you don't even remember what you did all day. If that sounds familiar, don't worry. You are not alone. People spend almost half of their waking hours thinking about other things rather than what they are doing. In other words, many of us operate on autopilot.

In addition, we have entered what many people call the "attention economy". In the attention economy, the ability to remain focused and focused is as important as technology or management skills. Leaders are particularly hit by this emerging trend because they need to absorb and synthesize a large amount of information in order to make the right decisions.

The good news is that you can activate your brain to concentrate better through a whole day of Mindfulness Exercise. Here are some guidelines to help them become more focused and conscious leaders.

First, start your day. Researchers have found that we release a lot of stress hormones within minutes of waking up. Why? Because thinking about the day ahead triggers our fighting instinct or escape instinct and releases cortisol into our blood. Instead, try this: when you wake up, stay in bed for two minutes, just notice your breathing. When you think about this day, let them go and return to your breath.

Next, when you get to the office, spend 10 minutes at your desk or in your car, and before you get into action, use a short Mindfulness Exercise to boost your brain. Close your eyes, relax and sit up straight. Focus your attention on your breathing. Simply keep a constant focus on your breathing experience: inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. To keep your attention on breathing, count quietly every time you exhale. Whenever you find your attention distracted, just concentrate on your breathing and you can distract. Most importantly, let yourself enjoy these minutes. Over the next day, the urgency to compete with others will distract you. But in these 10 minutes, your attention is yours.

Once you have completed this exercise and are ready to start work, concentration can improve your efficiency. Two skills define a conscious mind: focus and consciousness. More specifically, focus is the ability to focus on what you are doing right now, while consciousness is the ability to recognize and release unnecessary interference. Understand that concentration is more than just meditation, mindfulness is the cultivation of a sharp, clear mind. Concentration in action is a good substitute for the illusory practice of multiplexing. Working hard means focusing your attention and awareness on everything you do from the moment you enter the office. Focus on the work at hand and be aware of and release internal and external interference. In this way, focus can help improve efficiency, reduce mistakes, and even enhance creativity.

To better understand the power of focus and consciousness, consider a pain that touches almost all of us: the addiction to e-mail. E-mail can lure our attention to low-priority tasks because small tasks can quickly release dopamine, a hormone that makes us happy. This will make us addicted to e-mail and damage our attention. Instead, concentrate on what's important when you open your inbox, and remain aware of just noise. To better start your day, avoid checking your email first thing in the morning. Doing so can help you avoid distractions and short-term problems during a particular period of attention and creativity.

As the days go by and the inevitable back-to-back meetings begin, focus can help you lead shorter and more effective meetings. To avoid meetings with distracted people, spend two minutes practicing concentration. You can do that when you go to a meeting. Better yet, keep the first two minutes of the meeting quiet so that everyone can arrive physically and mentally. Then, if possible, close the meeting five minutes before the meeting so that all participants can consciously transition to the next meeting.

Over time, your brain starts to tire, and concentration can help you stay sharp and avoid bad decisions. After lunch, set a timer on your mobile phone and ring every hour. When the timer rings, stop your current activity and do a minute of focused practice. These conscious performance breakthroughs will help prevent you from using the autopilot and increasing your work unconsciously, or from rejecting meaningless work.

提醒你的老板你做得很棒

我們都很忙。當我們忙於擺脫我們的待辦事項列表並希望一天中有更多的時間時，我們常常忘記宣揚自己的成就——提醒我們的老闆我們做了多麼出色的工作。

通過發送簡訊或電子郵件，把你的成就放回到老闆的雷達上——不要吹噓。沒什麼花哨的，一兩句話就可以了：“只是想讓你知道XYZ專案進展順利，客戶對我們的草稿很滿意，下一步是最後確定合約金額，我們將在星期四之前對數字進行確認。”。發送這樣的資訊，會讓你看起來很有能力，善於交際，而且是最優秀的。

Remind your boss that you do a great job

We are all busy. When we are busy getting rid of our to-do list and wishing for more time in the day, we often forget to publicize our achievements -- to remind our boss of how well we have done.

Send via SMS or email, put your accomplishment back on boss's radar -- don't brag about. Nothing fancy, just one or two brief sentences: "Just want to let you know that the XYZ project is progressing well, our customers are satisfied with our draft, the next step is to finalize the contract amount, we will be on Thursday to finalize the number." Sending the message that will make you look ability, good communication, and is one of the most outstanding.

如何告訴老闆他沒有像自己想象的偉大？

雖然我們生活在有自信的光榮，與無可避免的自我懷疑中，但是如果你相信自己比實際的自己還要強，確實有好處。

第一是你會有較強的企圖去做困難的工作。相信你能夠做一些困難的事只是一半， 然而如果你真的太過誇大你的能力，按照定義，你就會失敗。第二是你有機會忽悠別人相信你確實是有實力的。多數的人最後會發現事實，然後你忽悠別人活得的私人利益都會被人家對你的負面形象洗刷殆盡。

一個會迷惑他人相信他是慈善而有天才的領導者，會誤導他的跟隨者陷入長期的風險。相對的，一個誠實自覺自己有能力極限的領導者，比較不會犯錯，讓他的組織、團隊陷入危險。

領導者通常并不自覺。雖然人的領導天分是常態分配，但是80%的領導者自信他比別人優秀。但是，人的自戀會隨著時間更增強，而不能期待他能夠客觀誠實的做自我評估，讓他能夠謙虛。當一名充滿自我幻想的人，身邊圍繞著阿諛奉承的人的時候，他就很容易忽視掉該被他重視的中肯回饋意見。

無論你想要做老闆管理或是作為一名企業教練在指導領導者，提供必要的回饋。以下有幾個作法可以供你參考：

• 配合他的個人動機。沒有人喜歡被人批評，尤其是具有高聲望的個人。然而，如果你能夠幫助老闆認知你可以幫助他達成她的目標，他會關注的。要最有效的作法是配合他的動機與價值觀。例如，他很在乎個人的聲望。那麼，可以展示給他知道，他實際的聲望并不如他自己的想象，同時提醒他該如何調整他的行為與語言。另外，如果他在乎的是實際的權威，就可以告訴他：“如果你改變X與Y的組合，可以提高你超越同儕的實際績效，獲得別人對你的尊重與服從。”
• 讓資料事實說話。領導者并不完全在乎他人對他的看法，有些人會自我陶醉。從正面看，他們在乎結果績效，以及客觀數據。因此，讓他們自己做360度自我評估與員工回饋，可以讓他有機會重新審視自己，讓他看到自己的盲點。遺憾的是，這些多半只是學術說法，很少見到成功名人做多類似的自我評估。
• 提醒過度自信的負面結果。最後，要注意的是，即使願意接受科學檢驗數據的領導人，都會傾向於忽略檢驗結果數據的真實而中立的性質。他們傾向於抗拒接受檢驗數據顯示的問題。他們通常會繼續固執，要證明自己是正確的。

經驗顯示，真正有效的領導者，通常是比較謙虛的人，會認為自己能力不足，重視授權。

不幸的是，這些建議作法通常都不容易實現。過分自信、抵抗做自我評估的領導主管，傾向于拒絕接受客觀與他人善意的回饋意見。通常，他們都是在問題嚴重到不得不面對的時候，才會低頭接受指導。

因此，對於一個企業來說，必須在一開始要拔擢領導主管，並且要求他可以成為有效的領導者時，不能只看他過去的績效，也必須觀察他的人格傾向。

作為一名不適任的老闆之下的員工，你只能先考慮組織的利益，并成為老闆可以信賴的員工的條件下，坦誠與老闆溝通。若是無法改變如此過分自信的老闆，就必須考慮另謀他途，例如轉調到公司其他部門。

How do you tell your boss that he is not as great as he thinks?

Although we live in the glory of self-confidence and inevitable self-doubt, it does good if you believe that you are stronger than you are.

The first is that you have a strong intention to do difficult work. Believe that you can do only half of the difficult things, but if you really exaggerate your ability, by definition, you will fail.

The second is that you have the opportunity to fool others into believing that you are really capable. Most people will eventually discover the facts, and then the personal benefits you fool others into living will be washed away by your negative image.

A leader who deludes others into believing that he is charitable and talented will mislead his followers into long-term risk. In contrast, a leader who is honest and conscious of his own limits of ability is less likely to make mistakes and put his organization and team in danger.

Leaders are often unconscious. Although people's leadership talent is normally distributed, 80% of leaders are confident that they are better than others. However, people's narcissism will increase with time, and can not expect him to be objective and honest in self-evaluation, so that he can be modest. When a man full of self-illusion is surrounded by flatterers, it is easy for him to overlook the pertinent feedback that should be valued by him.

Whether you want to be a manager or a business coach guiding the leader, provide the necessary feedback. Here are a few ways for your reference:

• Cooperate with his personal motivation. Nobody likes to be criticized, especially individuals with high prestige. However, if you can help your boss understand that you can help him achieve her goals, he will pay attention. The most effective way is to match his motivation and values. For example, he cares a lot about personal prestige. Then, you can show him that his actual reputation is not as good as his own imagination, and remind him how to adjust his behavior and language. In addition, if he cares about the actual authority, he can tell him: "If you change the combination of X and Y, you can improve your actual performance beyond your peers, get respect and obedience from others."
• Let the facts speak. Leaders don't care entirely about what others think of them. Some people become intoxicated with themselves. On the positive side, they care about results and performance, as well as objective data. Therefore, letting them do 360 degree self-assessment and employee feedback can give him the opportunity to re-examine himself and let him see his blind spot. Unfortunately, these are mostly academic statements, and few successful celebrities make similar self-assessments.
• Remind the negative consequences of overconfidence. Finally, it should be noted that even leaders willing to accept scientific test data tend to ignore the true and neutral nature of the test results. They tend to resist the problem of accepting test data display. They usually continue to be stubborn and prove that they are right.

Experience shows that a truly effective leader, usually a more modest person, will think that his ability is insufficient and attach importance to empowerment.

Unfortunately, these recommendations are often not easy to implement. Leaders who are overconfident and resistant to self-assessment tend to refuse to accept objective and goodwill feedback from others. Usually, they bow their heads to receive guidance when the problem is too serious to face.

Therefore, for an enterprise, it is necessary to promote the leader at the beginning and ask him to be an effective leader, not only to look at his past performance, but also to observe his personality tendencies.

As an employee under an incompetent boss, you can only consider the interests of the organization first, and become a trusted employee of the boss, honest communication with the boss. If you can't change such an overconfident boss, you must consider other ways, such as transferring to other departments of the company.

如何告訴老闆不要越廚代庖你的工作？

多數的人并不相信自己能夠將日常的工作做到最佳的狀況。不幸的是，之所以如此，很多時候是因為老闆太積極的越廚代庖，做掉了員工該做的工作。大約有2/3的領導主管，自認為會做他以前升任為經理前的工作，會比讓屬下員工做的更完美。當主管自己在組織中升遷，他們會有強烈的傾向選擇那些以前成功的工作。

從企業的角度，如此會是領導主管扮演太低級的角色，使得他的屬下員工的工作內容受到壓縮限制，會對對他的工作不滿意，以及被迫做更扮演更低級的角色、做更低級的工作。

如果你感覺到了你的老闆做了許多你的工作，你肯定不會是唯一的人。但是，即使這樣的情況已經成為常態，也不代表你必須接受。即使你是直接向CEO或是其他資深領導報告，你也應該為自己的工作，爭取你該有的利益，而非讓別人為你說話。即使如此做，會多少忤逆老闆的情緒，最終的結果，多半會是雙贏的。這是因為高階領導主管通常不易獲得下屬的回饋意見，除非有人願意挺身而出，建立和老闆更好的分工配合模式。

以下，是幾條建議，可以讓老闆做老闆的事，你做你的事：

1.    以澄清老闆對你的期望來讓老闆有自覺。你不要以為老闆自覺已經過度參與到你的工作中了。你可以請老闆說出希望你在團隊中的角色，以及應該做出的貢獻。如果老闆的回答和你的眼光類似，你可以探知他并不自覺他已經撈過界了。如果他的回答提到了很多超過你所知的角色中的細節，你可以評估他的參與程度與價值，那麼你們需要重新討論你們對這份工作的角色的期望差異了。

無論你和老闆是否同調，敞開大門來分享你的期望，讓老闆知道你希望他如何參與支持你的工作，以及你對他的感覺。如果你們都同意你的角色與工作範疇，你們就可以討論幾個他一起參與的案例，指出他可能過度參與的項目，然後提出可以修正的作法。如果你們的討論不同調，你可以指出他的過度參與會如何讓你不能獲得發揮你的成長潛力，做出有價值的貢獻。

2.    認知自己的缺點。你的老闆會過度參與到你的細節工作，可能只是表面的問題，背後的問題可能更嚴重。例如，他可能已經聽到客戶或其他部門認為你的協調溝通能力不佳，而這和你的個性有關，會危害到團隊的績效與聲譽。

但是，如果他的參與是屬於“再確認、加強包裝”類型的，表示他很肯定你的工作，只是想要跳進來，幫你將工作表現整理好，以便可以展示給他的上級老闆或其他部門知道，這是提供給你知道可以如何加強表現的機會。如果他的參與是攸關“資源獲得”類型的，就可能是他肯定你工作的方向，想要幫助你獲得所需要的資源，加快你可以做出績效的協助形式。

無論以上哪一種老闆的參與，都可能引發你認為老闆越廚代庖了，讓你感到不愉快。出現這類的跡象，都是彼此溝通不良的現象。但是，部分是你的誤解，部分確實是你的缺點，而有些則很可能是致命的。

3.    指出不預期的後果。老闆的過度參與，會導致他們不預期的後果，你的工作層級愈高，就愈嚴重。例如，你的職位是CMO,應該負責公司行銷政策與執行。這樣的工作，通常會牽涉到行銷預算的分配、媒體代理人的選擇等敏感內容。然而，若是你的老闆CEO經常代為做決定。那麼，公司內就會出現：“知道誰是真正的CMO了吧！”你的大權旁落，甚至會被質疑，這樣的工作權力實際上是CEO的，你只有執行的配合，否則，是你侵犯了CEO的權利，如此的誤解。真正嚴重的後果是，如果老闆會過度參與你的工作，多半他也會如此參與到其他部門領導的工作。那麼，整個公司的團隊機能，可能就要僵化或甚至崩潰。你有必要和老闆釐清對工作角色和權責區分的認識。

4.    一起找出替代方案。協助你的老闆弄清楚他的參與你的工作的目的是什麼。多半的時候，你會發現是因為他們樂於做他們以前做過的工作，做讓他們能夠成功升官的工作。他們以為比你更有經驗。他會以為你的工作會讓他顯得無能。他的心態就是要感受到他是老闆，是他在領導團隊。但是，他如此做，不但不會達到他的目的，讓他不能專注在策略性工作上。

但是，他要如此做，就必須保持他對所有相關資訊都暢通，一旦你停止回饋給他，他就失去了控制力。因此，你們必須維持透明而有互信的溝通。

5.    不要等待。讓令人煎熬的怨憤積累發展，會很危險。你拖延愈久，你就愈可能捏造他的動機、虛構他的行為。

即使是他最良善的企圖，他如此做都把自己的角色做小了。不要以為你的老闆有自覺，以及他為何如此做。你應該做好自己，以及在可能的範圍內幫助你的老闆，讓他有機會糾正自己，回去他自己的舞台，而你也可以維護好自己的空間。