在艱困的談話后，要想想你學到了什麼？

也許你向老闆要求了加薪，或是向同事做了一個艱難的回饋意見。你也許會舒口氣，總算談過話了。然後接下來呢？

在你繼續往前做之前，稍微思考一下。

問你自己：你滿意掌握好這個對話嗎？或是你感覺很尷尬，不願意下次還做這樣的對話？這個對話達到你想要的目的了嗎？你對這個人或是討論的議題有了新的認識？你下次會希望達到新的結果嗎？

這樣的回想，會讓你下次的對談更能夠滿足你的期望。也許你有必要和這個人再談一次，讓彼此的共識更清楚，而且讓下次的會談準備的更好。

After a difficult conversation , think about what you have learned?

Maybe you have asked your boss for a raise, or a tough feedback from a colleague. You may take a breath. You have finally talked. And then what's next?

Just think about it a little before you go on.

Ask yourself: Are you satisfied with the conversation? Or are you embarrassed and unwilling to talk like this next time? Does this dialogue reach what you want? Do you have a new understanding of this person or the subject under discussion? Will you expect a new result next time?

This will make you think, next conversation can meet your expectations. Maybe it's necessary for you to talk to this person again, to make each other's consensus clearer, and to make the next meeting better.

如何處理從同事關係改變為老闆部屬關係？

被上級升職為你的同事的老闆，是會尷尬的。你必須在你的前同事面前平順的轉化你們之間的關係。

一般的情形下，你的前同事們會從別人的口中聽到你的升級消息。然而，你最好用溫和的語氣，自己和同事們說這個消息。

這個時候，你固然不必驕人，也不必矯情，故意不好意思。你應該表示，謝謝同事們過去的支持，讓你有升級的機會，也表示，未來還需要大家的合作，你對團隊的表現，有信心。

你可以展開一對一的對話，詢問他們對你的期待，可能的話，在你對他們有充分的認識的基礎上，盡快賦予他們新的使命，讓他們感覺受到你的重視。

你升級后的重要工作目標，是建立起你的主管信任度與威望。

How do you deal with a change from a colleague's relationship to a boss's relationship?

It will be embarrassing to be promoted by a superior to your colleague's boss. You must transform your relationship smoothly in front of your former colleagues.

In general, your former colleagues will hear your upgrades from other people's mouths. However, you'd better speak to your former colleagues in a mild tone.

At this time, of course, you do not need to be proud, also do not need to pretend, deliberately embarrassed. You should say, thank your colleagues for their past support, so you have the chance to upgrade, also said that need to cooperate together in the future. You have confidence in the team's performance.

You can launch a one to one dialogue, ask them what they expect of you, and if possible, and give them a new mission as soon as possible, make them feel valued.

The important goal of your promotion is to build your supervisor's trust and prestige.

好的傾聽者問好的問題

有些人認為好的傾聽者會安靜的坐著聽、點頭、保持眼睛接觸，並且在說話者說完時，摘要你所聽到的。但是，這些只是你所聽到的一部分的。

最好的領導者會更深入的去了解另外一個人說的內容背後的實質的內容。要做到如此，你必須提出問題來澄清你所了解的，並且讓另外一個人說的更清楚，檢驗這些話的假設條件，而可以有新的觀點。

你也應該注意到他說話時的情緒。一旦說話者感覺得到支持了，你可以進一步對他說的主題提供一些你可以對另外一個人有幫助的意見。

只是要注意，不要讓你們的對話，變成了你的主場，還是要尊重說話者的立場。

A good listener asks good questions

Some people think that a good listener will sit and listen quietly, nod, keep eye contact, and digest what you hear when the speaker says. But, these are just a part of what you've heard.

The best leader will be more aware of the substance behind the content of the other person's content. To do this, you must ask questions to clarify what you know, and let the other person speak more clearly, test the hypothesis of these words, and have new ideas.

You should also notice the mood of his speech. Once the speaker feels supported, you can further provide some advice to the subject you can say that you can help with another person.

Just be careful not to let your conversation become your home ground or to respect the speaker's position.

克服你面對艱難對話的抗拒

如果你經常不願意面對困難的對話，你就不會成為有效的領導。如果你總是遲疑給不合格的人正確的批評，或是解釋組織為何要重整，你就不能正確領導團隊。

你必須勇敢面對這類的艱難對話。你可以這樣做：

1. 調整你的心態。不要看成是你的艱難對話，而可以視為是你的機會。通常，艱難的對話，如果你處理的好，能夠強化團隊成員的堅韌性。
2. 管理你的情緒。你很可能會膽怯、焦慮、甚至憤怒。這些都OK，就讓自己承認有這些負面情緒。然後，集中精神來面對當下的局面。
3. 直接面對。不要企圖閃躲，拐彎抹角。誠實的說你該說的話 ，並且表現出你的積極熱情。

Overcome your resistance to difficult conversations

If you are not willing to face the difficult conversation, you will not become effective leader. If you always hesitate to unqualified people, to correct criticism, or to explain why the company has to re-organize, you cannot lead a team correctly.

You have to face up to these tough conversations. You can do that:

1. Adjust your mindset. Don't think of it as your hard talk, but it can be seen as your chance. Usually, tough conversations, if you do well, can strengthen the resilience of team members.
2. Manage your emotions. You are likely to be timid, anxious, and even angry. These are OK. Admit yourself to these negative emotions, and then concentrate on the situation.
3. Face it. Don't try to dodge, equivocate. Honestly to what you should say, and show your enthusiasm.

六個步驟助你提高專注力，不易分心！

在學生時代，我們聽課超過半小時就會開始分心，不小心睡著或是在課本上亂塗鴉；而在冗長的會議進行途中，我們可能也會開始滑臉書或是偷偷回覆朋友的訊息，而不專心聆聽台上的主管所交辦的事項。在科技日新月異的同時，種種電子設備使我們分散注意力在其他更加新奇好玩的人事物上，例如在準備打開電腦做報告的時候，你不小心點開Youtube並開始欣賞小短片……三個小時過去了，你才發現報告一個字都還沒打！

《Fast Company》撰稿人Gwen Moran引述了心理學教授Daniel Levitin所提出的六個可以幫助你提升專注力的方式。當你全神貫注於完成某件工作而非一心多用，工作效率也會大大提升！

1. 睡眠充足

2. 寫下那些使你分心的人事物

3. 關掉電子設備

4. 撥出時間

5. 不斷練習

6. 適當休息

避免對話發生不歡而散

我們在和人對話時，經常會陷入爭論，以致于不歡而散。以下有六個方法，能夠避免你和別人的對話陷入僵持或崩裂：

1. 對自己的行為負責。對你自己在對話中的言行態度，必須負責，例如說：“我說話太大深了，因為我很積極。對不起，我也不願意讓我們對話陷入爭吵。”
2. 保證對話成功。你可以這樣說：“我承諾與你合作，讓我們討論出彼此可以接受的成果。”
3. 指出應該有的討論途徑。你可以說：“我們這樣討論，似乎不太對勁，不能的到結果。我們是否可以換個角度來談談看？”
4. 安排對話規則。說，“我們可以暫時休息嗎？也許我們該訂出一個討論的規矩。”
5. 改變對話速度。說話太快會帶來壓力或受到威脅的感覺。放慢你的對話。多傾聽，而非搶著回應。
6. 強調已經達成的協議。說，“我們可以先將剛才達成的協議重點，做一下記錄嗎？”同時，重申彼此產生的共同興趣、信任的內容，或是對話的過程。

Avoiding dialogue go apart

We talk with other person will often fall into debate, that making apart. The following six methods, you can avoid dialogue into a stalemate or crack:

1. Be responsible for our own actions. Be responsible for our own words and attitude in the dialogue. For example, say: "I speak too deep, because I am very active. Sorry, I don't want to let us talk in argument."
2. Make sure the dialogue is successful. You can say, "I promise to cooperate with you and let us discuss what is acceptable to each other. ".
3. Point out that there should be some ways of discussion. You can say, "We don't seem to be quite right about this discussion. We can't get the result. Can we talk about it from another angle?"
4. Arrange dialogue rules. Say, "Can we rest for a while? Maybe we should make a discussion rule."
5. Change the speed of conversation. Speaking too quickly can cause stress or threat. Slow down your conversation. Listen more, not respond.
6. Highlight the agreement had been reached. Say, "Can we take notes for what we reached agreement on?" At the same time, reaffirming the common interests, each other trust, or the process of dialogue.

在你公司發生經營困難后，你如何去尋覓新職？

當你的公司陷入經營困難，包含公司發生了醜聞，你也許會擔心你未來的職場發展機會。你如何去尋覓新職？

幸運的是，這裡有些做法可以讓你在尋覓新職務時，你的工作技能與個人名譽不會受到影響。

你可以先去了解你的同事都去哪裡發展新工作了。這些願意一位遭遇經營困難公司的同事的公司，可能可以挖掘出他的正面潛力。

在你求職時，不用在履歷表中隱瞞與原公司的關係。如果你的經歷包含在公司里的高職位或是有顯赫的學位，將這些放在履歷表上的顯著位置。

同時，你要對想要去的公司私下做好盡職調查（due diligence）,免得你又遇到相同的遭遇。

How do you find a new job after your company has difficulty in operating?

When your company gets into business difficulties and includes a scandal, you may worry about your future career opportunities. How do you search for a new job?

Fortunately, here are some ways that you will not be affected by your work skills and personal reputation when you look for new positions.

You can first find out where your colleagues are going to develop their new jobs. Those companies are willing to work with a co-worker in a difficult company may be able to tap their positive potential.

When you're applying for a job, don't hide the relationship with your former employer in your resume. If you have a high position in your company or have a prestigious degree, place these on your resume.

At the same time, you have to do due diligence to the company you want to go to, so that you don't have the same experience.