使一段艱難的談話保持在正軌上

有時候，儘管你的意圖是好的，一段艱難的談話卻偏離了軌道。也許是你的對手的情緒使對話陷入困難，或者對話總是脫離了主題。

通過深呼吸，從談話中跳出來，客觀地觀察正在發生的事情，以此來評估情況。你甚至可以對自己描述(在你的頭腦中)：“每次我提到銷售數字，他都會提高嗓門。”

接下來，用平靜的語氣說出你觀察到的情況：“似乎每當提到銷售數字時，你就會提高嗓門。你能幫我弄明白為什麼嗎？“。

然後提出一個新的方法：“如果我們集思廣益，我們可能會想出一個辦法來克服這個問題。你有什麼主意嗎？“。

讓對話回到原來的目標可能就足以讓它回到正軌。

Keep a difficult conversation on the right track

Sometimes, though your intentions are good, a difficult conversation is off track. Maybe your opponent's mood makes conversation difficult or the dialogue is always out of the subject.

Evaluate the situation by taking a deep breath, jumping out of the conversation, and observing what is happening objectively. You can even describe to yourself: "Every time I mention sales figures, he raises his voice."

Then, in a calm voice, say what you've observed: "It seems that whenever you mention sales figures, you raise your voice. Can you help me figure out why? ".

Then a new approach is proposed: "If we brainstorm, we may come up with a way to overcome this problem. Do you have any idea? ".

Letting the conversation return to its original goal may be enough to get it back on track.

當你在找工作的時候，多專注於求職過程

當你申請工作而沒有得到工作時，很容易感到絕望。但不要失去信心——這是招聘經理尋找的一個關鍵特徵。

為了避免絕望，把你的注意力從你想要的結果轉移過來（“我需要一份工作！“），多專注求職過程（“這是我必須做的具體步驟”）。

檢查職位空缺並申請適合自己經驗的職位。參加社交活動，瞭解潜在雇主。與朋友和同事交談，找出誰在招聘。參加課程來提高你的技能。

把注意力放在這些小目標上會減輕你的挫敗感，幫助你感到富有成效，尤其是如果找到一份工作比預期的要長。很多這些任務都是你被錄用後需要做的事情，所以一旦你獲得了一個職位，你就為未來的成功打下了基礎。

雖然招聘通知上沒有要求你投遞應征函后必須跟進，但是你最好在投遞應征函后，打電話給招聘經理或是聘用部門主管，詢問招聘作業進度，做簡短自我介紹，引擎他的注意。通常他會表示感謝你對這個職位的關切。

當然，如果他已經決定不錄用你，而沒有通知你參加面談，你可以詢問他不滿意你的理由。你可以作為參加下一個工作機會招聘的參考改進。

When You’re Looking for a Job, Focus on the Process

When you’re applying for jobs but aren’t getting them, it’s easy to feel desperate. But don’t lose your confidence — it’s a key trait that hiring managers look for.

To keep desperation at bay, shift your focus from the outcome you want (“I need a job!”) to the process you’ll use to reach it (“Here are the specific steps I’ll take”).

Check for job openings and apply for positions that suit your experience. Attend networking events to get to know potential employers. Talk to friends and colleagues to find out who’s hiring. And take classes to improve your skills.

Keeping your attention on these small-scale goals will ease your frustration and help you feel productive, especially if finding a job takes longer than expected. And many of these tasks are things you need to do after you get hired as well, so you’re laying the groundwork for your future success once you do land a position. 

Although the recruitment notice does not require you to follow up after the letter of recruitment, you'd better call the recruitment manager or the head of the hiring department after the letter of recruitment, ask the job schedule, make a brief self introduction, and see the engine's attention. Usually he will thank you for your concern about the position.

Of course, if he has decided not to hire you and has not informed you to attend the interview, you can ask him why he is not satisfied with you. You can use it as a reference for the next job offer.

要尋找一個有報酬的演講生涯，先從免費演講開始

許多專業人士喜歡在會議上發言。如果你把自己培養成一個有能力的演講者，你也許能找到報酬不錯的演出。但當你第一次起步時，免費演講是一個完全合理的策略：

它會讓你練習和磨練你的技能，它會讓你在未來可以在雇傭你的觀眾面前展示。

也許還有其他更切合實際的好處，比如旅行的機會。一些會議將支付你的旅行費用，即使他們不付發言費。

一旦你提供了一個演講，考慮要求單位做攝影，以便你可以使用視頻找到新的客戶。也可以用你的網站做展示推薦。

即使你沒有得到報酬，說話也會把你和關心你的事情的人聯系起來，這是非常寶貴的經驗。

To Start a Paid Speaking Career, Start Speaking for Free

Many professionals would love to speak at conferences and conventions. If you’ve established yourself as a capable speaker, you may be able to find gigs that pay well. But when you’re first starting out, speaking for free is a perfectly reasonable strategy:

It will let you practice and hone your skills, and it will get you in front of audiences who could hire you in the future.

There might be other, more tangible benefits too, such as the opportunity to travel. Some conferences will cover your travel costs even if they don’t pay a speaking fee.

Once you’re offered a talk, consider asking the organization to film it so that you can use the video to find new clients. Ask for a testimonial for your website, too.

 Even if you aren’t being paid, speaking connects you with people who care about the same things you do, which is an invaluable experience.

善待那些惹惱你的人

當你和你一起工作的人討厭你的時候，你可能會認為他們最壞——你的行為也會表現出這種心態。但對同事還是要有禮貌，甚至富有同情心，這是因為很多工作都是合作的，因為同事可能不會故意打擾你。

儘量減少你對他們的反應，讓自己做寫好事或說些好聽的話。

例如，你可以稱讚他們在會議中提出的一個想法，或者提願意出幫助某個項目。不要抱怨或揚起你的眼睛，不要被動地攻擊別人，比如說：“歡迎你加入我們。”（這可能是你的本能，但這隱含了你的不快態度。而你可以說：“來，一起喝杯咖啡，我們會讓你加快速度。” 這種慷慨的精神對你和你的同事都有好處。

Be kind to those who annoy you

When you work with people who hate you, you may think they are the worst - your behavior will show this mindset. But be polite to your colleagues, or even compassionate, because a lot of work is co-operative because your colleagues may not deliberately bother you.

Try to minimize your reaction to them and make yourself do good deeds or say nice things.

For example, you can compliment an idea they put forward at the meeting, or offer to help a project. Do not complain or raise your eyes, do not passively attack others, for example, "Welcome to join us." This may be your instinct, but it implies your displeasure. And you can say, Ccome and have a cup of coffee together, we will speed you up." This generous spirit is good for you and your colleagues.

從文化失禮中恢復過來

在另一種文化中的社交錯誤行為很難彌補。也許是一個笑話，一個無意侵犯個人空間的語言，或者是對背景的誤會導致了某人的羞辱。

在另一種文化中工作之前，努力理解道歉的禮節。找出當失禮發生時人們使用的語言和肢體語言。

例如，他們會說，“對不起”，或微笑，大笑，鞠躬，或把目光移開？他們是否表現出悔過或謙卑，公開地或謹慎地談論它，只是忽視它？

記住，大多數文化對錯誤的反應沒有一刀切的規則，而背景是關鍵。觀察文化中的人們的行為，並與那些與你建立關係的人交談。

你也可以考慮和一位文化教練一起工作，這樣下次你意識到自己犯了一個錯誤時，你就會有所準備。

Recover from a Cultural Faux Pas

A social mistake in another culture isn’t easy to recover from. Maybe it was a joke that misfired, an unintentional violation of personal space, or a misreading of the context that resulted in someone losing face.

Before working in another culture, make an effort to understand the etiquette for apologizing. Find out what verbal and body language people use when faux pas occur.

For example, do they say, “Excuse me” or “I’m sorry,” or even smile, laugh, bow, or look away? Do they show contrition or humility, address it publicly or discreetly, simply ignore it?

Keep in mind that most cultures don’t have one-size-fits-all rules for reacting to mistakes, and context is key. Observe how people in the culture behave, and talk to those with whom you are building relationships.

You could also consider working with a cultural coach so that you’ll be prepared the next time you realize you’ve made a mistake.

要更好地利用你的時間，追蹤它

很難知道你是否在有效地利用時嗎？即使你總是努力工作，而且壓力很大，你確定你把時間花在正確的事情上嗎？

為了找出答案，試著進行時間跟踪練習。在30天內，用試算表記錄你如何花費你的時間，以每一小時的時間來記錄它。這聽起來很費勁，但是這個練習會產生一些令人驚訝的見解。

例如，也許你的目標之一是多讀書，以便探索新的想法，但是你在努力尋找時間。這項練習可能會揭示你可以把鍛煉、烹飪或通勤結合到一起去聽有聲讀物或播客。

時間跟踪也會告訴你，你特別有可能浪費一天中的特定時間（比如，晚上花在社交媒體上瀏覽），某些工作會帶來不成比例的心理負擔（比如管理你的電子郵件）。

只有追蹤你的時間，你才能真正確定你是否運用得很好。

To Use Your Time Better, Track It

It’s hard to know whether you’re using your time efficiently. Even if you’re always working hard — and stressed out — are you sure you’re spending your time on the right things?

To find out, try a time-tracking exercise. For 30 days, use a spreadsheet to log how you spend your time, measuring it in per hour increments. It might sound arduous, but this exercise can yield some surprising insights.

For example, maybe one of your goals is to read more, in order to explore new ideas, but you’re struggling to find the time. The exercise might reveal that you could combine exercising, cooking, or commuting to work with listening to audiobooks or podcasts.

Time tracking might also show you that you’re especially likely to waste certain hours of the day (say, evenings spent scrolling through social media) and that certain tasks carry disproportionate psychological weight (such as managing your email).

Only by tracking your time can you truly figure out whether you’re spending it well. 

幫助你的老闆意識到團隊裏發生了什麼

老闆們有很多事情要處理，所以他們不容易錯過與員工的日常事務。如果你的團隊有問題，你的老闆似乎不明白發生了什麼，試著幫助他們了解。

不要過於直言不諱或責備，提供一個可以社群了解的環境，讓老闆自己可以追蹤實際情况。

例如，你可以提供這樣的觀察：“你注意到小莉這個星期有點沮喪嗎？”“或者”你注意到最近每個人看起來都很緊張嗎？你也可以說一些一般性的話，比如：“你介意我和你分享一些關於小馬的意見嗎？”“

你的建議要機智；你的目標應該是開導你的老闆，而不是懲罰或使同事難堪。通過向老闆展示他們可能錯過的問題，你可以成為他們更好的理解團隊的一個鏡頭——讓每個人受益。

Help Your Boss Be Aware of What’s Happening on the Team

Bosses have a lot to deal with, so it’s not hard for them to miss day-to-day issues with their employees. If your team has a problem, and your boss doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on, try to help them catch up.

Without being overly blunt or critical, provide a social reading of the situation that your boss is missing.

For example, you could offer observations such as: “Did you notice that Li;ly is a bit down this week?” or “Have you noticed that everyone seems stressed out lately?” You could also say something general, such as: “Would you mind if I shared some observations about Marco with you?”

Make your suggestions with tact; your goal should be to enlighten your boss, not to chastise or embarrass a colleague. By showing your manager issues they otherwise would’ve missed, you can be a lens through which they better understand the team — benefiting everyone.

完美主義者，想想不完美的成功

做一個完美主義者並不容易，尤其是如果你對一切事情的願望都是正確的，那你就會延后決策，擔心沉沒成本，或者沉思失敗和弱點。

為了幫助自己放鬆，試著集中精力，從成功中學習。捫心自問：我做的每件事都完美無瑕？（可能不是）我一直都有把握提前取得成功嗎？（不可能）

記住，當你成功的時候，儘管不完美，但它會給你信心，根據過去的工作來調整你的過程和决定。

這可能是特別有用的，如果你傾向於仔細研究和規劃你的工作方法，然後才開始。你也可以找到一個成功的榜樣來保持他們的完美主義。

這個人怎麼能在不完美中而仍然成功呢？觀察他們的所作所為，並從中吸取教訓。

Perfectionists, Think About When You’ve Succeeded Imperfectly

Being a perfectionist isn’t easy, especially if your desire for everything to be just right causes you to put off decisions, worry over sunk costs, or ruminate over failures and weaknesses.

To help yourself ease up, try focusing on and learning from your successes. Ask yourself: Have I always done everything flawlessly? (Probably not.) Have I always been certain of success in advance? (Unlikely.)

Remembering times when you succeeded despite being imperfect will give you the confidence to tweak your processes and decisions based on what has worked in the past.

This can be especially useful if you tend to carefully research and plan your approach to work before starting it. You can also identify a successful role model who keeps their perfectionism in check.

How is that person able to be effective without succumbing to perfectionism? Observe what they do and learn from it.