與其抱怨同事，不如和他們談談

老實說：有時候抱怨同事感覺很好。但是，雖然它有助於你釋放壓抑的情緒，但發洩只是一種橫向的作為。換句話說，我們通常向朋友或同事抱怨，我們很少面對我們抱怨的人。所以下次你要抱怨的時候，試著把它帶到問題的根源。

比如說，一個同事在開會時大喊大叫。你的第一本能可能是向另一比特同事抱怨他們粗魯的行為。取而代之的是，花些時間冷靜下來。想想到底是什麼困擾了你，你想抱怨什麼（在會議中大喊大叫和不尊重別人是不好的）。

决定你能做些什麼來改變這個人的行為或改善這種情況（也許說，“請不要在會議中大聲喊叫——讓我們在談話中互相尊重”）。然後找時間跟他談談。

Instead of Complaining About a Colleague, Talk to Them

Let’s be honest: Sometimes complaining about a coworker feels good. But although it helps you release pent-up emotions, venting is a sideways move. In other words, we usually complain to a friend or colleague — and we rarely confront the person we’re complaining about. So the next time you want to complain, try taking it to the source of the problem.

For example, let’s say a coworker yells in a meeting. Your first instinct might be to complain to another colleague about their brash behavior. Instead, take some time to calm down. Think about exactly what bothered you and what you want to complain about (it’s not OK to yell and disrespect others in a meeting).

Decide what you can do to shift the person’s behavior or improve the situation (perhaps saying, “Please don’t shout in meetings — let’s respect each other in our conversations”). And then follow through by speaking to the person later. 

拓展思維解决複雜問題

太多的領導者在處理複雜的問題時是思考：答案是對還是錯，是好是壞，是贏還是輸。要培養細緻入微的觀點，挑戰你對問題的理解。

問問自己，“我在這裡看到什麼？”“還有什麼可能是真的？”不要尋求答案，只要確認你已經知道的。在早晨，當你頭腦清新的時候，第一件事就是解决這個問題。

至少花上一個小時不間斷。確保你給一個複雜的問題有專注的思考，否則可能會更沒有足夠的智慧來處理所要求的任務。

當你工作時，注意你的感受。除了認知上的挑戰擁抱複雜性是一種情感上的挑戰。

你需要管理像恐懼和憤怒這樣的强硬情緒，讓自己遠離飛行或戰鬥模式，這樣你就可以更廣泛地思考。

Solve Complex Problems by Expanding Your Thinking

Too many leaders approach complex problems with either-or thinking: The answer is right or wrong, good or bad, win or lose. To cultivate a nuanced perspective, challenge your understanding of the problem.

Ask yourself, “What am I not seeing here?” and “What else might be true?” Don’t seek out answers that just confirm what you already know. It’s also helpful to tackle this kind of challenge first thing in the morning, when your mind is fresh.

Spend at least an hour on it without interruption. The dedicated time ensures that you give a complex issue the attention it needs — attention that might otherwise be consumed by less intellectually demanding tasks.

And as you work, pay attention to how you’re feeling. Embracing complexity is an emotional challenge in addition to a cognitive one.

You’ll need to manage tough emotions like fear and anger and get yourself out of flight-or-fight mode so that you can think more expansively. 

在人群中，不要讓自己那麼辛苦，帶來一個健談的同事

人脈對你的職業生涯很有好處，但向一屋子的人介紹自己也會消耗精力。下次當你參加一個會議或專業的快樂時光時，考慮帶一個同事來幫忙。

你們兩人可以分別面對不同人群，也就是說，你們每個人都會和不同的人交談，然後分享所知。這樣，你會消耗更少的能量，同時在晚上結束之前收集大量的連絡人。

選擇一個比你外向的同事，和其他人交往會感到興奮。想出一個誰跟誰說話的計畫。記住，在活動期間休息一下恢復精力是可以的。

即使只是幾分鐘的時間，它可以幫助你恢復能量回到和人們聊天。

To Make Networking Less Exhausting, Bring a Talkative Colleague

Networking can be good for your career, but introducing yourself to a roomful of people can also be draining. The next time you attend a conference or professional happy hour, consider bringing along a coworker to help.

The two of you can divide and conquer, meaning you’ll each talk to different people and then share notes. That way you’ll both expend less energy while still gathering a large number of contacts by the end of the night.

Choose a colleague who is more extroverted than you and who gets excited by socializing with others. Come up with a plan for who will talk to whom. And remember that it’s OK to take a break during the event to restore your energy.

Even if it’s just a few minutes long, it might give you the boost you need to get back to making small talk. 

使一段艱難的談話保持在正軌上

有時候，儘管你的意圖是好的，一段艱難的談話卻偏離了軌道。也許是你的對手的情緒使對話陷入困難，或者對話總是脫離了主題。

通過深呼吸，從談話中跳出來，客觀地觀察正在發生的事情，以此來評估情況。你甚至可以對自己描述(在你的頭腦中)：“每次我提到銷售數字，他都會提高嗓門。”

接下來，用平靜的語氣說出你觀察到的情況：“似乎每當提到銷售數字時，你就會提高嗓門。你能幫我弄明白為什麼嗎？“。

然後提出一個新的方法：“如果我們集思廣益，我們可能會想出一個辦法來克服這個問題。你有什麼主意嗎？“。

讓對話回到原來的目標可能就足以讓它回到正軌。

Keep a difficult conversation on the right track

Sometimes, though your intentions are good, a difficult conversation is off track. Maybe your opponent's mood makes conversation difficult or the dialogue is always out of the subject.

Evaluate the situation by taking a deep breath, jumping out of the conversation, and observing what is happening objectively. You can even describe to yourself: "Every time I mention sales figures, he raises his voice."

Then, in a calm voice, say what you've observed: "It seems that whenever you mention sales figures, you raise your voice. Can you help me figure out why? ".

Then a new approach is proposed: "If we brainstorm, we may come up with a way to overcome this problem. Do you have any idea? ".

Letting the conversation return to its original goal may be enough to get it back on track.

當你在找工作的時候，多專注於求職過程

當你申請工作而沒有得到工作時，很容易感到絕望。但不要失去信心——這是招聘經理尋找的一個關鍵特徵。

為了避免絕望，把你的注意力從你想要的結果轉移過來（“我需要一份工作！“），多專注求職過程（“這是我必須做的具體步驟”）。

檢查職位空缺並申請適合自己經驗的職位。參加社交活動，瞭解潜在雇主。與朋友和同事交談，找出誰在招聘。參加課程來提高你的技能。

把注意力放在這些小目標上會減輕你的挫敗感，幫助你感到富有成效，尤其是如果找到一份工作比預期的要長。很多這些任務都是你被錄用後需要做的事情，所以一旦你獲得了一個職位，你就為未來的成功打下了基礎。

雖然招聘通知上沒有要求你投遞應征函后必須跟進，但是你最好在投遞應征函后，打電話給招聘經理或是聘用部門主管，詢問招聘作業進度，做簡短自我介紹，引擎他的注意。通常他會表示感謝你對這個職位的關切。

當然，如果他已經決定不錄用你，而沒有通知你參加面談，你可以詢問他不滿意你的理由。你可以作為參加下一個工作機會招聘的參考改進。

When You’re Looking for a Job, Focus on the Process

When you’re applying for jobs but aren’t getting them, it’s easy to feel desperate. But don’t lose your confidence — it’s a key trait that hiring managers look for.

To keep desperation at bay, shift your focus from the outcome you want (“I need a job!”) to the process you’ll use to reach it (“Here are the specific steps I’ll take”).

Check for job openings and apply for positions that suit your experience. Attend networking events to get to know potential employers. Talk to friends and colleagues to find out who’s hiring. And take classes to improve your skills.

Keeping your attention on these small-scale goals will ease your frustration and help you feel productive, especially if finding a job takes longer than expected. And many of these tasks are things you need to do after you get hired as well, so you’re laying the groundwork for your future success once you do land a position. 

Although the recruitment notice does not require you to follow up after the letter of recruitment, you'd better call the recruitment manager or the head of the hiring department after the letter of recruitment, ask the job schedule, make a brief self introduction, and see the engine's attention. Usually he will thank you for your concern about the position.

Of course, if he has decided not to hire you and has not informed you to attend the interview, you can ask him why he is not satisfied with you. You can use it as a reference for the next job offer.

要尋找一個有報酬的演講生涯，先從免費演講開始

許多專業人士喜歡在會議上發言。如果你把自己培養成一個有能力的演講者，你也許能找到報酬不錯的演出。但當你第一次起步時，免費演講是一個完全合理的策略：

它會讓你練習和磨練你的技能，它會讓你在未來可以在雇傭你的觀眾面前展示。

也許還有其他更切合實際的好處，比如旅行的機會。一些會議將支付你的旅行費用，即使他們不付發言費。

一旦你提供了一個演講，考慮要求單位做攝影，以便你可以使用視頻找到新的客戶。也可以用你的網站做展示推薦。

即使你沒有得到報酬，說話也會把你和關心你的事情的人聯系起來，這是非常寶貴的經驗。

To Start a Paid Speaking Career, Start Speaking for Free

Many professionals would love to speak at conferences and conventions. If you’ve established yourself as a capable speaker, you may be able to find gigs that pay well. But when you’re first starting out, speaking for free is a perfectly reasonable strategy:

It will let you practice and hone your skills, and it will get you in front of audiences who could hire you in the future.

There might be other, more tangible benefits too, such as the opportunity to travel. Some conferences will cover your travel costs even if they don’t pay a speaking fee.

Once you’re offered a talk, consider asking the organization to film it so that you can use the video to find new clients. Ask for a testimonial for your website, too.

 Even if you aren’t being paid, speaking connects you with people who care about the same things you do, which is an invaluable experience.

善待那些惹惱你的人

當你和你一起工作的人討厭你的時候，你可能會認為他們最壞——你的行為也會表現出這種心態。但對同事還是要有禮貌，甚至富有同情心，這是因為很多工作都是合作的，因為同事可能不會故意打擾你。

儘量減少你對他們的反應，讓自己做寫好事或說些好聽的話。

例如，你可以稱讚他們在會議中提出的一個想法，或者提願意出幫助某個項目。不要抱怨或揚起你的眼睛，不要被動地攻擊別人，比如說：“歡迎你加入我們。”（這可能是你的本能，但這隱含了你的不快態度。而你可以說：“來，一起喝杯咖啡，我們會讓你加快速度。” 這種慷慨的精神對你和你的同事都有好處。

Be kind to those who annoy you

When you work with people who hate you, you may think they are the worst - your behavior will show this mindset. But be polite to your colleagues, or even compassionate, because a lot of work is co-operative because your colleagues may not deliberately bother you.

Try to minimize your reaction to them and make yourself do good deeds or say nice things.

For example, you can compliment an idea they put forward at the meeting, or offer to help a project. Do not complain or raise your eyes, do not passively attack others, for example, "Welcome to join us." This may be your instinct, but it implies your displeasure. And you can say, Ccome and have a cup of coffee together, we will speed you up." This generous spirit is good for you and your colleagues.

從文化失禮中恢復過來

在另一種文化中的社交錯誤行為很難彌補。也許是一個笑話，一個無意侵犯個人空間的語言，或者是對背景的誤會導致了某人的羞辱。

在另一種文化中工作之前，努力理解道歉的禮節。找出當失禮發生時人們使用的語言和肢體語言。

例如，他們會說，“對不起”，或微笑，大笑，鞠躬，或把目光移開？他們是否表現出悔過或謙卑，公開地或謹慎地談論它，只是忽視它？

記住，大多數文化對錯誤的反應沒有一刀切的規則，而背景是關鍵。觀察文化中的人們的行為，並與那些與你建立關係的人交談。

你也可以考慮和一位文化教練一起工作，這樣下次你意識到自己犯了一個錯誤時，你就會有所準備。

Recover from a Cultural Faux Pas

A social mistake in another culture isn’t easy to recover from. Maybe it was a joke that misfired, an unintentional violation of personal space, or a misreading of the context that resulted in someone losing face.

Before working in another culture, make an effort to understand the etiquette for apologizing. Find out what verbal and body language people use when faux pas occur.

For example, do they say, “Excuse me” or “I’m sorry,” or even smile, laugh, bow, or look away? Do they show contrition or humility, address it publicly or discreetly, simply ignore it?

Keep in mind that most cultures don’t have one-size-fits-all rules for reacting to mistakes, and context is key. Observe how people in the culture behave, and talk to those with whom you are building relationships.

You could also consider working with a cultural coach so that you’ll be prepared the next time you realize you’ve made a mistake.