為下一次困難談話制定基本規則

困難的談話是具有挑戰性的，部分原因是你不知道討論是否或何時會偏離軌道。

為了確保事情順利進行，事先與對方商定一項行為準則。至少，建議不要打斷，不要大喊大叫，不要有人身攻擊。（這些都是基礎知識，是的，但對每個人都有幫助）。

如果你擔心你的同事不會遵守規則，把它們寫在一張紙或白板上。然後你可以輕輕地指出來，例如，你的對手開始提高他的聲音：“我們說我們不會大叫的。你能降低聲音嗎？”有基本的規則，可以讓談話比較保持順利進行。

Set the basic rules for the next difficult conversation

Difficult conversations are challenging, partly because you don't know whether or when the discussion will deviate from the track.

In order to ensure that things go smoothly, agreed with each other in advance on a code of conduct. At least, no interrupt, no yelling, no personal attack. Tse are all basic knowledge, yes, but they are helpful to everyone).

If you worry that your colleagues don't follow the rules, write them on a sheet of paper or a whiteboard. Then you can gently point out, for example, your opponent begins to raise his voice, "We say we won't shout. Can you lower your voice? " Such basic rules that can keep the conversation going smoothly.

給你壓力很大的同事表揚和幫助

你知道有壓力的人總是不知所措，捉襟見肘，而過度誇張。他們不容易共事，但你可能沒有選擇。

不管你對同事有沒有煩惱或同情，你都可以表揚和幫助幫助他們。

你的同事可能會失控，所以稱讚他們的表現可以幫助他們建立另外一種新形象，成為一名能幹、積極的專業人士。引用他的一些具體行為，例如，你可以說，“上周你處理演示的方式是令人欣賞。你很鎮定，留給客戶們深刻的印象。“你也可以通過詢問你能幫什麼忙來提供幫助，這可能會讓壓力很大的同事感到不那麼孤單。

別承諾過多，但是，資訊應該是，“我資源有限，但我想幫助你，如果你正在掙扎。”

Give your stressful colleagues praise and help

You know that stressful people are always overwhelmed, overstretched and exaggerated. They are not easy to work with, but you may not have a choice.

Whether you have trouble or sympathy for your colleagues, you can praise and help them.

Your colleagues may get out of control, so praising their performance can help them create another new image as a competent, motivated professional. Citing some of his specific behavior, for example, you can say, "The way you handled the presentation last week was admirable. You are very calm and leave a deep impression on the customers. "You can also asking what you can do, which can make the stressful colleagues feel less lonely.

Don't promise too much, but the information should be, "I have limited resources, but I want to help you, if you're struggling."

幫助過度熱心的員工放慢下來

你的團隊中有快速反應的員工真是太好了。但是有些人非常需要解決問題，因為他們行動太快，弄得一團糟。他們可能僅僅是為了表現他們已經做了，或者發佈了錯誤的指令，這樣他們就可以說他們處理了一個問題，或許可以得到不該獲得的報酬。

你可以幫助這些人學會控制他們的緊迫感。

首先，告訴他們，他們的方法會可能傷害他們。當有人只關心自己的目標和任務時，其他人可能會認為他們不是團隊成員。

太迫切的員工通常只看到有利的一面，而不會看到行動太快的缺點。所以，鼓勵他們找出所有的後果。然後，讓他們參閱放在具有高績效、長期思考者的項目上，這樣他們就可以看到一種溫和的、深思熟慮的方法的好處。

通過觀察他人，他們將觀察如何思考和深思熟慮能產生更好的結果。

Help overheated employees slow down

It's very nice of your team to have quick reaction staff in your team. But some people need to solve the problem, because they act too fast and make a mess. They may be just to show that they have done or issued wrong instructions, so they can say that they have dealt with a problem, maybe they can get the reward that they should not get.

You can help these people learn to control their sense of urgency.

First, tell them that their methods could hurt them. When someone is concerned only with their goals and tasks, others may think they are not a team member.

It is too urgent for employees to see only the positive side and not see the shortcoming of action too fast. So, encourage them to find out all the consequences. Then, let them refer to projects on high performance and long-term thinkers, so that they can see the benefits of a mild and thoughtful way.

By observing others, they will observe how to think and deliberate to produce better results.

當你回到前雇主時，重新設定期望值

回到你曾經工作過的公司可以是一個明智的職業生涯。但不要以為你會在你離開的地方撿起來。重新設定期望——你和別人的都一樣。

證明你已經成長，並通過謙虛地強調你在你離開時所取得的成就和學習來確立自己在組織中樹立了一個更高的地位。

你必須證明也認知，彼此都已經長大成熟了。不要以為你離開後公司就一直保持不變。權力改變了，人們來了又走了，你的同事也長大了。認識到背景發生了變化，了解大家都有了新的地位。

When you return to former employer, reset your expectation

It can be a wise career to go back to the company you've worked for. But don't think you'll pick up where you're leaving. Reset your expectations - you're the same as everyone else.

Prove that you have grown up, and modesty emphasize your achievements and learning when you leave, and establish yourself in a higher position in the organization.

You have to prove and know that each other has grown up and mature. Don't think that the company stays the same after you leave. Power has changed, people come and go, and your colleagues have grown up. Realize that the background has changed, and that everyone has a new position.

無論你在事業上多麼專注，都要和你的朋友保持聯系

許多人專注與事業和家庭，而把他們的個人關係擱置一邊。然而，事實上，當我們得到牢固而穩定的友誼的支持時，我們的事業會更成功。

不要冒失去與你最親密的社會關係的風險。職業和友誼可以互相加强——朋友們可以分享大視角的事業洞察力，甚至激發你對專業成長的熱情。

消除自然的漂泊，努力維持你的友誼。打電話給好友，而不是直接點擊他們的Facebook網頁。安排時程去看他們（不要取消！）

設定雄心勃勃的職業目標是可以的，但不要在過程中犧牲親密的關係。

No matter how attentive you are in your career, keep in touch with your friends

Many people focus on their careers and families and put their personal relationships on the side. However, in fact, when we are supported by solid and stable friendship, our business will be more successful.

Don't risk losing your closest social relationship. Career and friendship can reinforce each other. Friends can share career insights and inspire enthusiasm for professional development.

Eliminate natural wandering, and strive to maintain your friendship. Call your friends instead of directly clicking their Facebook pages. Arrange schedule to see them (don't cancel!)

It is possible to set ambitious career goals, but don't sacrifice intimate relationships in the process.

辭職之前，先排練一下你要說的話

告訴你的老闆，你決定離開你的工作並不是一個簡單的談話。但是如果你不小心的話，你可能會受到很大的傷害。

不能够清楚而合理地解釋你為什麼要離職，會導致傷害感情和誤解，並且它會打開長期的和痛苦的企圖讓你留下來的大門。

許多人辭職的最常見的遺憾之一是，他們沒有排練他們要說的話。所以，在你决定告訴你的老闆之前，最好找一個值得信賴的同事練習你要說的話。

以你個人和專業的原因來談談離職的原因與目的，以及你打算如何減輕對同事和公司的影響。你的同事可能會指出你沒有考慮過的問題，比如你的老闆可以有時間做好安排，或者應付潜在的反應。徵求他們關於如何平順相關談話的建議。

Before you quit, rehearse what you want to say

Tell your boss that you decide to leave your job is not a simple conversation. But if you are not careful, you might be hurt very much.

Failure to explain clearly why you are leaving, will cause hurtful feeling and misunderstanding lead to hurt feelings, and it will open the door for long and painful attempts to make you stay.

One of the most common regret about resignation is that they didn’t rehearsal what they want to say. So, before you decide to tell your boss, it is best to find a trusted colleague to practice what you have to say.

With your personal and professional reasons to talk about the reasons and purposes of turnover, and how are you going to mitigate the impact on colleagues and company.

Your colleagues may point out that you have not considered the problem, for example, your boss will have time to make arrangements, or to cope with the potential reaction. Ask them for advice on how to ride related conversation.

如果你和同事都迴避衝突溝通，怎麼解決問題？

如果你和同事有衝突，一起討論可能會有幫助。但如果你們兩個都回避衝突，那就很棘手了。

當你們兩個都不想做任何事的時候，如果你最終壓制了以後可能爆發的感情，那是很危險的。你們中的一個需要帶頭——你可能會對你的同事說，“我知道我們兩個都不喜歡衝突，但是我們不能忽視這個問題，我們能做些什麼呢？”這將有助於你的同事參與談話。

然後，盡你所能以一種敏感、周到的態度吸引對方。如果事情變得棘手，不要撤退。為了避免衝突，你需要克服迴避衝突的本能。

If you and your colleagues are avoiding conflict communication, how do you solve the problem?

If you are in conflict with your colleagues, it may be helpful to discuss it together. But if two of you avoid the conflict, it will be tricky.

When the two of you don't want to do anything, if you could suppress the feelings that might erupt in the future, it is very dangerous. One of you may need to take the lead to your colleague said, "I know all two of us don't love conflict, but we can not ignore this problem and what can we do?" This will help your colleagues to participate in the conversation.

Then, do your best to attract your partner in a sensitive and thoughtful way. If things get tough, don't retreat. To avoid conflict, you need to overcome the instinct to avoid conflict.

不要過度使用你的長處

大多數領導人都有自己的優勢，這使他們與眾不同。但如果過度使用這些相同的特點，可能會有不利的一面。

例如，一種良好的自我控制意識可以轉變為剛性。勇氣，在極端的情况下，可能會變得魯莽。誠實，如果沒有脾氣，會變成殘忍。

值得花些時間考慮一下你可能依賴的技能。例如，考慮一下你的優點之一，它在工作中很好地為你服務，並為他人所欽佩。然後試著考慮一個你比你更應該依賴那個品質的情况。有沒有當你的力量變成一種責任，造成更多的傷害而不是好的時候，甚至可能導致意想不到的結果？

記住，我們往往會在壓力下過度使用自己的優勢。當我們得不到我們想要的東西時，我們的本能是把過去一切最好的東西都加倍。

Don't overuse your strengths

Most leaders have their own advantages, which make them different. But if they are overusing the same characteristics, there may be a negative side.

For example, a good sense of self-control can be turned into rigidity. Courage, can be reckless under extreme circumstances. Honesty, without temper, will become cruel.

It's worth your time to consider you may rely on the skills. For example, consider one of your strengths, it works very well for your service, and admired by others. Then try to think what one you should depend on the quality of more than you have. When you change into a force the kind of responsibility, causing more harm than good, and may even lead to unexpected results?

Remember, we tend to overuse our strengths under pressure. When we fail to get what we want, our instinct is to double all the best things in the past.