與你的員工建立更好關係的三招

如果人們感覺和你有某種連接關係，那麼即使是困難的對話也不會讓人覺得威脅感不會那麼強烈。

以下三招可以讓你和你的員工建立較強的人際關係：

1.  隨時和他接觸。看待每個與人發生互動，當成是更多認識他的機會。養成一個習慣，當你每次與員工見面，就問他的工作，或是他的個人生活狀況。
2. 注意一些人的行為細節。人們會感受到每個發生情緒感應的情況，包含你的問題、姿勢、或是表情。關注他的行為與情緒反應狀態。你有多麼認識你的員工的情緒反應的狀態？你能夠辨別嗎？你也許可以從你的朋友或是家人方面得知你通常是如何傾聽，以及反應他人情緒的？
3. 經常說謝謝。一般來說，人們對於正面的行為的反應，要數倍與負面的行為。你不需要說過多次的謝謝后，才來批評別人。但是，也需要注意多給人正面的讚美與感謝。

Three ways to build a better relationship with your employees

If people feel connected to you in some way, even difficult conversations don't make people feel less threatening. 

Here are three ways to build strong relationships with your employees: 

1. Keep in touch with him. Look at everyone's interactions as an opportunity to know more about them. Make it a habit to ask an employee what he or she is doing or what his personal life is like every time you meet with an employee. 
2. Pay attention to the behavior details of some people. People will feel every emotional sensation, including your problem, posture, or expression. Pay attention to his behavior and emotional reaction. How well do you know the emotional state of your employees? Can you tell? You may be able to learn from your friends or family how you usually listen and respond to other people's emotions? 
3. Always say thank you. Generally speaking, people react to positive behavior by several times as much as negative behaviors. You don't have to say thank you many times before you criticize others. However, there is also a need to pay more attention to positive praise and gratitude.

認真傾聽，不要急著回應

會傾聽比會說話還困難。即使是很會傾聽的人，有的時候也會不時打斷別人的說話，讓自己說話結巴。

以下的作法能夠讓你做好傾聽：

1. 避免打斷別人說話。這不是說你得放下手機、關掉你的電腦瀏覽器。就是不要去想你接下來要說什麼，而專注在聽別人正在說什麼。
2. 複述回去。這看起來好像有些愚蠢，但是複述別人說過的花，可以讓人家感受到你是認真在聽他的話。
3. 問深入的問題。問一些開放式的問題，可以讓你對問題得到清除的澄清，並且讓你們的對話更深入到對方關切的內容。

Listen carefully, don't rush to respond

It's harder to listen than to talk. Even those who listen very well sometimes interrupt people and make themselves stutter.

The following is a good way to listen:

1. Avoid interrupting others. That doesn't mean you have to put your mobile phone down and turn off your computer browser. Just don't think about what you're going to say next, but focus on what other people are saying.
2. Re-tell it. It seems silly, but re-telling the flowers that other has said can make you feel that you're listening to him carefully.
3. Ask questions. Ask open-ended questions that allow you to clear the problem and let your conversation go deeper into each other's concerns.

開會不要遲到

大家是否有感覺，經常在就要開始開會時，會接到預備來開會的某人會打電話或發來簡訊說他耽擱了，會遲到。儘管這人可能客氣表示抱歉，但是實際上就是耽擱了許多一起與會者的時間。更糟糕的是，會議時間被因此壓縮了，使得會議討論的效果受到很大的影響。

如果計算與會者的名目成本，再考慮開會必須做出的決策影響，這樣因為有人開會遲到，而發生的總成本，是非常巨大的。

即使在如今科技進步的時代，準時開會還是很重要的。這起碼讓你可以關注，重視什麼才是真正重要的事項。

最重要的，準時與會，可以表現出你對他人的尊重。

Don't be late for the meeting

Do you have the feeling, often begins at the meeting, someone will call or send text messages that he delayed, and will be late. Although this may politely said sorry, but in fact it wastes many other participants’ time together. What is worse, the meeting time is so compression, the conference to discuss effect greatly affected.

If you calculate the participants' nominal costs, and consider the impact of decisions that must be made at meetings, so that the total cost of meeting of someone’s late is enormous.

Even in today's age of technological progress, meeting on time is still important. At least, you can focus on what is really important.

The most important thing to do is to show your respect for others on time.

不必離職，就可發展第二事業

你是否夢想轉行，卻擔心跳槽成本太高，成功的可能性似乎太遙遠了？

與其耗在你目前的工作，又一時難以離職，轉換跑道，而逐漸失去工作熱情，不如同時做兩件事：在追求新事業的同時保持現在的工作。

如果你能用新的追求來提高現有的角色，你就不必放弃睡眠。例如，如果你有興趣成為一名演講人，在你現時的公司裏尋找建立演講技巧的方法。主動承擔下一個全公司的簡報，或在會議上加入一個討論小組。

當你跟隨你的好奇心，你就更有可能實現夢想，更滿足您想要的角色感覺。

Developing second career without leaving your current job

If you dream of a career change, but worry about the high cost of job hopping, the possibility of success seems too far away?

Instead of wasting time and not able leaving your current job for turning the runway, and losing your job enthusiasm, it's better to do two things at the same time: keep your current job while you're pursuing your new career.

If you can use the new pursuit to improve the existing role, you don't have to give up sleep. For example, if you are interested to become a speaker, you can look for a way to establish the speaking skills in your present company. Take a company presentation, or join a discussion group at the meeting.

When you follow your curiosity, you are more likely to fulfill your dream and fulfill your desired role.

面對艱難的談話，準備多種方案

當你需要面對一個緊張的對話，不要試圖改變它。你不知道討論將如何進行，所以提前考慮幾個可能的方案。

如果你的對手的生氣和哭泣？如果他們生氣怎麼辦？如果你被打斷，或需要快速完成的談話嗎？

當然，你不能寫每一個可能的劇本，但盡可能多考慮將有助於確保你不要鑽牛角尖，失去冷靜。

您可能還希望找到一個值得信任的同事，您可以在其中扮演一些場景。嘗試不同的方法，測試出可能用於各種可能性的短語。然後問你的角色扮演的伴侶給你回饋。

Prepare a variety of programs during difficult conversations

When you need to face a stressful conversation, don't try to change it. You don't know how the discussion will go, so consider several possible options ahead of schedule.

What if your opponent's angry and crying? What if they're angry? What to do if you're interrupted or need a quick finish?

Of course, you can't write every possible scenario, but to consider as much as possible will help ensure that you don't get lost calm.

You may also want to find a trusted colleague, and you can make some role play scenes in them. Try different methods may be used to test all possible phrases. Then ask your partner to give you feedback.

從家庭回到職場，如何面對HR招聘官？

當你在家裡擔任父母，照顧小孩后，預備重返職場，經常要面臨公司的HR招聘官會質問你，“你真的想來上班嗎？”，或者，“你上班，家裡的孩子怎麼辦？”這樣的問題的潛台詞，就是“難道家裡有小孩，不會妨礙到你上班工作嗎？”

遇到這樣的問題，你除了必須表示你對這份工作的熱情，以及相信你可以做出貢獻外，也必須解釋你做了哪些妥善的安排？例如，你的孩子已經開始上學了，你可以白天上班，或是，你請好了保姆來照顧孩子，或是，孩子長大了，可以照顧自己了。

這些回答，可以顯示你將會是一名積極進取的員工，不會因為個人的家庭因素而分心影響工作表現。

How do you response to the HR officer when you return to work from family?

When you play as family parent with child caring, now ready to return to work, often have to face the company's HR recruiter asks you, "Do you really want to go to work?", or, "How do you go to work and leaving children at home?" Subtext of such question is "Don't family children will not interfere with your work?"

Encounter such question, you must show your enthusiasm for the job, and make him believes you can make a contribution.

You must also explain what you arranged? For example, your child has started school, you can work during the day, or you arranged a baby-sister to take care children during your working hours, or, your children grow up, and can take care of themselves.

These answers show that you will be an aggressive employee and will not be distracted by personal family influences.

賈詡的聰明

賈詡的聰明，明就明在他洞悉人性，總能看透對方的心思。

據《三國志 賈詡傳》，賈詡在吧李傕和郭汜這兩隻“西北狼”引進長安後，並沒有同流合污，而是擇機離開了他們。離開長安後，賈詡先是投靠段煨，後是投靠張繡。離開段煨的時候，有人問他，說段煨對先生那麼好，先生為什麼還要走？賈詡說，段煨這個人的特點是多疑。他對我客氣，正說明他對我防範，怕我取而代之，因此總有一天會對我下手。現在我離開他，他一定如釋重負。段煨是個很孤立的人，希望能有外援，必定厚待我的家人。張繡沒有謀士，也希望我能去。這樣，我自己和我家人就都安全了。後來，事實正如賈詡為別人出謀劃策，總是料事如神，秘密就在這裡。很多人上《三國演義》的當，以為世界上真有什麼“錦囊妙計”，其實那裡有？料事如神者，實際上是料人如神。所以，琢磨計謀是沒有用的，你還是琢磨人性吧！

知人者也自知。賈詡投靠曹操後，很清楚自己的身份地位，知道像自己這樣多謀善斷的人，對任何君主都既是利用物件又是危險人物，何況還是個“叛徒”？因此，為人處世都十分低調。他開始變得沉默寡言，很少出謀劃策，也不呼朋引伴，就連為子女締結婚姻也不攀附豪門（詡自以太祖舊臣，而策謀深長，懼見猜疑，闔門自守，退無私交，男女嫁娶，不結高門），尾巴夾的比誰都緊。賈詡真是聰明人。

(抄自：易中天【品三國】上，第八章，P80)

後記：不是每個人的性格，都適合當帝王、CEO, 有的人的個性天生適合擔任幕僚、參謀，或頂多擔任總經理。賈詡、魯迅、諸葛亮，這三位丞相/總經理在史書上的地位，並不比他們的上司CEO差。

不要老闆巨細靡遺的干預，澄清彼此的期望

你會不會經常感覺到你的老闆在做你的工作，越廚代庖，因而妨礙你能夠把自己的工作做好？

如果你的老闆真踩著你的腳，妨礙你，你就要和他討論一下彼此對角色的期望。你的老闆甚至不知覺他自己在做什麼。

你可以問他：“您沒有別的事要忙嗎？”給他一個很溫和的提醒，或是你可以因而得到他給你很重要的回饋意見。

如果你的老闆正在對你的工作越廚代庖，很可能是你的老闆正試圖解決一些你自己都不知覺的問題。

如果這樣溫和的提醒還不能達到效果，那麼，就開門見山的指出老闆這樣的行為構成的後果，了解他究竟是故意的還是無意的？然後，你們可以坦然的一起解決問題。

To Get Your Boss to Stop Micromanaging, Clarify Expectations

Do you always feel your boss doing your job, the more you can cook instead, thus preventing their own work to do?

If your boss really steps on your feet and gets in the way, you should discuss the expectations of each other with your role. Your boss doesn't even know what he's doing.

You can ask him, "Do you have anything else to do?" Give him a gentle reminder, or you can get an important feedback from him.

Micromanaging might be your boss’s way of trying to fix a problem that you weren’t aware existed. If nothing else is working, be direct: Point out the consequences of their behavior, unintended or not, and then try problem solving together.