當你真的需要幫助時，當面請求

當你想要請一位同事幫你做些事，例如：幫你審核你的簡報稿，或是撥一些資源支持你的項目，等等，你最好當面請求，而非發郵件、或是只是留言。

要知道，對方的郵箱或是Messenger里也是充滿了太多的待閱信息。你不會希望和其他向他請求支持的人要搶奪他的眼光。

當然，當面對話，會讓你感覺有些不方便，或是感到困窘。但是，如果你親自走到他辦公桌旁，或是和他約定時間會面。這樣做，能夠顯示你所請求的事項是重要的，願意聽他的意見，可以顯示出你的誠意，也可以讓他願意重視你的請求。

When You Really Need a Favor, Ask in Person

When you want to ask a colleague to do something for you, such as: to help you review your presentation, or to allocate resources to support your project, etc., you'd better ask face to face instead of email or just leave a message.

You know his mailbox or Messenger is full of too much information to read, and you don't want to grab his eye with anyone else who asks him for it.

Of course, talking to people in the face can make you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

However, you can personally go to his desk, or make an appointment to meet in personal. To do so, you can display the items requested is important, willing to listen to his advice, you can show your sincerity, also can make him willing to pay attention to your request.

當你要說些不當的話前，先考慮後果

當你愈有權勢，你愈有可能以為說些不當的話，沒有什麼不得了。

然而，即使是很有權勢的人，在開口前，還是得三思而後行。

當你考慮用權力說話時，考慮一下你是否對後果有實際的把握。權衡你對你所說的話和你所說的可能發生的事情有多大的信心，並决定你是否有足够的精力和韌性去收拾後果。你可能會對後果有所忌憚，因而寧願保持沉默，以策安全。

在你開口說任何話之前，想想以前說話的人，是如何被對待的。如果你決定還是要說出口，就要考慮當你被反擊、質疑時，你要如何辯駁。

然而，如果你選擇先保持沉默，人們又會如何想象你呢？有些事，無法長期躲避。

總之，說話要得體，要符合事實，要符合你的目的，要有策略。

Think about the consequences before you say something inappropriate

If you are a power person, it is likely that you may think that if you say something inappropriate is nothing.

However, even a powerful person has to think twice before opening his mouth.

When you think about talking with power, consider whether you are really sure about the consequences. Weigh your confidence in what you say and what you say may happen, and determine whether you have enough energy and toughness to clear up the consequences. You may have the fear of consequences, and therefore prefer to remain silent, to ensure safety.

Before you say anything, think of how the person you spoke before was treated. If you decide to say what you want to say, consider how you react when you are countered or challenged.

However, how do people imagine you if you choose to remain silent first? There are things that cannot be avoided for a long time.

In a word, speak appropriately, conform to the facts, be consistent with your purpose, and be tactful.

控制你對屬下的負面情緒

領導主管免不了會對他的屬下員工感到挫折。這是可以理解的。也許是有人報告遲交了，也許是有人影響了整個項目的按時完成，或是工作品質不良。也許是有人犯了大錯。

即使是你自己願意抗下屬下員工的責任，你的情緒肯定會受到影響了。你和屬下員工的關係會開始尷尬、凍僵。

要降低這樣的負面情緒，試著想你自己的想法是透明的，即使是每一名員工都可以完全看到你在想些什麼、你的感受是如何的？如此做，你就有機會去用別人的觀點來看待自己，因而可以找到一個彼此溝通的方式。

而且，更棒的是，你以後就能建立起一個可以管理自己負面看待屬下員工的情緒的模式。

Control your negative thoughts towards your subordinates

A competent leader will inevitably feel frustration on his staff. This is understandable. Maybe someone report late, maybe someone has affected the entire project completed on time, or the quality of work is bad, or somebody made a mistake.

Even if you are willing to take responsibilities of employees under your subordinates, your emotions will certainly be affected. The relationship between you and your employees will begin to be awkward and frozen.

To reduce such negative emotion, try your own ideas is transparent, even every one of the staff can see what you're thinking, how do you feel? Then, you have the opportunity to see yourself on other’s perspective. So we can find a communication way with each other.

And, better yet, you'll be able to build up a model that can manage your negative feelings about your employees in the future。

在評估企業文化之前，不要輕易接受企業的錄用

你去應征一份工作，獲得了錄取通知書（offer letter）。現在你面臨必須决定是否接受它？

首先，你必須對這家公司及其員工做要對組織盡職調查（due diligence），以瞭解你是否願意在那裡工作？

問問自己，“這是一個我會快樂工作的地方嗎？”我會面臨哪些挑戰？我會有哪些成長的機會？”然後，透過你的人脈網，問諸如：“這個公司的企業文化如何？這個公司的員工一般會待多久？”之類的問題。可能的話，設法和這個公司一名現職的員工聊聊。你可以說: “我真的很想多了解這公司，我可以和團隊呆幾個小時嗎？”

當然，你不能談判或改變公司的文化，但事先知道你要做什麼是有幫助的。

Before you evaluate the culture of an enterprise, do not accept the offer

You go to apply for a job and get an offer letter. Now you have to decide whether to accept it or not.

First of all, you have to do the due diligence to the company and its employees to see if you want to work there.

Ask yourself, "Is this the place I will work there happy? What kind of challenges I will face there? What kinds of growth opportunities I can get there? " Then, through your network, ask questions such as:" How the company culture? How long time in general the company employees will stay? If possible, and try to a serving employees in this company have a chat. You can say:" I really want to know more about this company. Can I stay for a few hours with the team?"
Of course, you can't negotiate or change the company's culture, but it's helpful to know beforehand what you're going to do.

在進行艱難對話前，做好計劃

你曾經不斷拖延一場重要而困難的談話嗎？或許，是你不願意承認犯了一個錯？或是，你不堪對方可能對你做非事實的攻擊？

但是，你拖愈久不願意和人對話，事情只會愈糟糕。你應該盡快進行必要的對話。

如果你感覺這確實是一場艱難的談話，那麼，你可以預先做好準備。

寫下你打算如何提出這個問題，以及可能會遇到哪些質問，而有哪些對應的答案？包含你可以接受的底線？或是，你可以要求對方給予建議方案的選擇嗎？

另外，當你提出問題時，你有客觀的作證資料嗎？你能夠分辨哪些是偏見嗎？

用事實說話。即使你對對方的態度難以接受，也試著這樣說：“你三次這樣說…”,取代“你在這次會議上對我非常不尊重。” 你有事實支持你的立場與觀點，就有機會取得對方對你的尊重。

Make a plan before having a difficult conversation

Have you ever been procrastinating on an important and difficult conversation? Maybe you don't want to admit that you've made a mistake Or, do you feel that the other person may attack you in a non-factual way?

But you don't want to talk to people for a longer time, and things just get worse. You should have the necessary dialogue as soon as possible.

If you feel that this is really a tough conversation, then you can be prepared in advance.

Write down what you're going to ask about this question, and what kinds of questions you might encounter, and what are the answers? Include the bottom line that you can accept? Or, can you ask the other party to give you a choice?

In addition, do you have objective evidence when you ask questions? Can you tell which ones are biased?

Speak with facts. Try to say, "You say it three times,..." Instead, "You don't respect me very much at this meeting." When you have facts to support your position and opinion, you have the opportunity to gain respect from the other person.

想要改變壞習慣，去抱怨一個虛擬的替罪羔羊

有的時候我們總會做一些我們不應該做的事，例如吃垃圾食物、不斷瀏覽手機、拖延時間，等等。

這個時候，你可以找一個虛擬的替罪羔羊來抱怨，把你的憤怒和焦慮都指向他， 說：“都是你害我吃個不停、看個不停、上班遲到。”你因為討厭他，而會想要對抗他。讓這樣想要對抗這個討厭的傢伙的心理，幫你戒除你的壞習慣。

但是，這個你討厭的傢伙必須是虛擬的，而非真實的，例如你的兄弟姐妹、配偶、老闆，否則，就變成是你在推諉責任了，而不會真的改善你的壞習慣了。

Want to change the bad habits, to complain about a virtual scapegoat

Sometimes we do something we shouldn't do, such as eating junk food, browsing cell phones, delaying time, and so on.

To change your bad habit, you can find a virtual one to complain, your anger and anxiety are pointing to him, said: "It is you who make me eat not to stop, always browsing, and being late for work." You hate him, and want to confront him. Let such confrontation mind to help you get rid of your bad habits.

But be aware that such guy you hate must be virtual, rather than real, such as your brother, spouse, boss, otherwise, you are just blame, but not really improve your bad habits.

當你自責懊惱的時候，頂回去，安慰自己

當客戶或同事給你强硬的回饋，你會泰然處之。但是當你自責而懊惱，自我強烈懷疑的時候，你惶惶不安。

你不要忽略，假裝沒有發生過，而應該頂回去。例如：你內心的聲音說：“這件事我處理的糟透了，”你可以回答，“你知道什麼？沒有人每次都能夠做到完美的。”然後，你可以安慰自己，“沒有關係，我下次一定會做好的。”

當你自責的時候，要安慰自己。

這樣做，一開始可能會不自在，甚至彆扭，但你會覺得比較舒坦，可以讓你恢復自信。

When you blame yourself for being upset, respond back and comfort yourself

When a client or colleague gives you a tough time, you can stride it. But when you blame annoyed, self strongly suspected, you are on tenterhooks.

Don't ignore it, and pretend it didn't happen. You should respond back to it. For example: your inner voice said: "This matter I deal badly," you can answer, "You know what? No one can be perfect all the time." then, you can comfort yourself, "It doesn't matter. I'll do better next time."

When you reproach yourself, comfort yourself.

In doing so, you may feel awkward at first, but you'll feel more comfortable and can restore your confidence.

在進行困難對話前，調整好你的心態

如果你正在準備一個你認為是“困難”的談話，你有可能感到緊張、生氣或心煩意亂。為了減少這些負面的情緒，你應該重新組織你的對話思維：你不會向你的老闆說“不”；你被要求提供了一個替代方案；你不知道如何給別人負面的回饋；你必須提供一個項目建設性的意見；等等。

這不是要你對這些困難的對話包上糖衣。誠實地告訴自己談話有多艱難，但盡可能建設性地組織它。你可能會告訴自己：我們可能不得不談論困難的事情，但我們會一起努力，因為我們一直互相尊重。

把重點放在你從談話中可以得到的東西上，假設你有東西要學。以開放的心態進入討論，不管你同事的立場如何，你都更有可能和他一起找到共識。

Adjust your attitude before you have a difficult conversation

If you are preparing a conversation that you consider "difficult", you may feel nervous, angry or upset. To reduce these negative emotions, you should reorganize your dialogue thinking: you won't say no to your boss. You was asked an alternative plan. You don't know how to give negative feedback to others. You must provide a constructive advice or project; etc..

It's not to sugarcoat these difficult conversations. Tell yourself honestly how hard it is to talk, but organize it as constructively as possible. You may tell yourself that we may have to talk about difficult things, but we will work together because we always respect each other.

Focus on what you can get from your conversation, assuming you have something to learn. Go into the discussion with an open mind, and no matter what your colleagues' positions are, you're more likely to find common ground with him.