在你道歉的時候，不要老在談你自己

如果用了錯誤的方式道歉，可能會弄巧成拙，讓人更厭惡你，你要致歉的對象更不願意聽你解釋什麼。

相對的，你應該問自己：“我在向誰道歉？他想要在我的道歉中聽到什麼？”

1. 如果是對陌生人或是剛結識的人。他會要求你對你犯的錯予以補償或是進行糾正。例如，你停車不小心擦撞、刮傷了他的車。他在發脾氣，你除了進行賠償，還能解釋什麼？
2. 如果是對你的同事或是朋友。他們要的是同情。當你無意中做了傷害他們的事，他們要的是你承認傷害了他們，表示歉意。然後你們之間的信任關係就可以重新建立起來。
3. 如果是對你的團隊成員。他們要的是你承認你破壞了團隊所制定的規矩，並且答應不會再這麼做。人孰無過，他們會理解并諒解你的過錯，并重新和你團結在一起。

When you apologize, don't keep talking about yourself

If you apologize in the wrong way, it may be self-defeating and make people hate you more. The person you want to apologize to is more reluctant to listen to your explanation.

Instead, you should ask yourself, "Who am I apologizing to?" What does he want to hear in my apology?

1. For strangers or new acquaintances. He will ask you to compensate or correct your mistakes. For example, you accidentally bruised and scratched his car while parking. He's losing his temper. What can you explain besides making compensation?
2. If it's for your colleagues or friends. They want sympathy. When you do something unintentionally that hurts them, they want you to admit that you hurt them and apologize. Then the trust between you can be rebuilt.
3. If it's for your team members. They want you to admit that you have broken the rules set by the team and promise not to do it again. No one is guilty, they will understand and understand your fault, and reunite with you.