我們發現，最好的導師關係更像是父母和成年子女之間的關係。比老闆和員工之間更密切。他們相互尊重，信任，共同的價值觀，和良好的溝通。
然而，應該如何發展導師關係，並無規範可循。這在學術界以外的管理領域，無論是財務、咨詢或是科技，這種情況都是如此。
然而，我們還是願意提供一些共通的觀察，供您參考：
考慮到指導的重要性，如何成為一個好導師的指導非常有限。在學術界以外的管理領域，無論是財務、諮詢或科技，這種情況更是如此。這裡我們提供好的導師指導劇本一個非正式的設定，如果你願意，當成一個遊戲，在很大程度上是一個團隊運動。雖然我們從學術中吸取了許多例子，但各學科之間的經驗有很大的程度是相關的。
謹慎選擇你的學員
有效的導師關係是很花時間的。 導師可以用同樣的時間來發展自己的職業目標或是去輔導別人。雖然獲得一位充滿熱情，而且可以帶來多個項目的學員會覺得很有吸引力，但是遇到錯的學員，還是很受傷痛苦的。
你要謹慎不同的學員會對導師有不同的期望，有些學員會堅持用他自己的方式發展導師關係。一位學員應該充滿好奇心、有效學習、負責任，而且積極參與。
要辨別學員的特質，可以做一些測試。例如，我們可以要求學員閱讀一本書，並且在幾個月內回覆他的讀書心得，一起討論。你也可以指定一篇文章，要求學員閱讀，並且在幾周內寫出一篇閱讀心得報告，或是做出一份演講簡報。或是，請他在拜訪客戶后，寫出他的觀察與想法。
這樣做，可以讓你對學員的思維邏輯、溝通技巧，以及他的興趣所在，有所了解。如果他不能交出指定的作業，你就可以喘口氣了，你可以免除收到一位缺乏承諾態度的學員。
建立一個導師顧問團
傳統上1對1的導師關係，已經不再適用了。現代的商業經常需要跨領域的各種不同專業，很少有導師具備多種不同的專業。同樣的，身為公司領導主管的學員，也處於多種不同的壓力下。因此，導師必須將責任分攤給其他具有不同專長的其他導師。高能力的導師可以承擔更多對學員的輔導責任，並且擔任整合輔導。而在部分比較要求深度技術的領域，可以交給專業技術的導師。共同輔導學員的成長。
雖然學員可以自行評估與挑選適合他的專業導師，但是比較理想的作法還是尊重資深的導師的推薦其他技術專業導師，或是共同討論導師顧問團的成員組成，以便導師顧問團可以更有效的整合運作。
建立有效的運作機制
導師的角色不一定要花過多的時間。和學員建立起可靠而清楚的運行規則可以提高合作效率。
一開始，和學員澄清他對導師的期望，看是否符合你對他的期望，建立起共識。他可能會有很誇張的長期目標，或許會超越了你可以提供的輔導能力。若是發生相互的誤解，代價會很昂貴。這樣的認知差異，必須盡早澄清。一般的經驗是，學員理解導師對成功的願景，會比較有效。
你們同時有必要建立起溝通的規則。多數的導師希望和學員間的溝通放在重要的主題上，而不喜歡接到任意的電話或收到成堆只說支微末節的短信。導師可以與學員約定每月見面1 – 2次，深入討論主題。如果有緊急的事情，最好先收到學員一個可以說明背景與問題的書面郵件，以便導師有時間先深入了解。
最後，要聲明清楚，負責任不是optinal可以任意選擇的。導師教導學員怎樣才是專業，以及可以有效支持學員的成長。如果學員予以忽視，不當一回事，那麼對於學員和導師的聲譽，都會受到傷害的。雙方制定的期限必須按時遵守完成。承諾的項目必須達成。約會必須守時。學員不僅應該尊重導師的時間，同時應該主動規劃工作行事曆，讓導師有時間預先準備。
學員應該認知導師-學員關係，并接受導師的檢討批評。學員必須認知重複犯錯是不能被接受的。如此重複的錯誤，會傷害導師關係，甚至更嚴重。
避開裂痕，或是解決問題
導師和學員之間會發生裂痕，幾乎是不可避免的。看似完美的匹配，也可能完全是錯誤的。彼此之間的相互期待，很可能會因某個外部事件而被破壞，例如，學員必須移民出國了，會讓導師覺得前功盡棄。或是，老師生病了，會讓學員害怕不能完成目標。
這樣的意外，都還是無心發生的。若是因為心有疙瘩，沒有說出來，而導致無法收拾的局面，彼此關係就會更惡劣。
若是有這樣可預見的事情，要彼此盡早提醒，或是商量出彼此可接受的替代作法。
通常，導師可以比較主動提出解決方案。例如，學員移民到國外，只要詢問是否願意繼續輔導關係，或許輔導工作可以替換為以遠端視頻會議進行。
另外一種情形是，導師或是學員，都沒有認知彼此之間出現裂痕了，或是一方覺得無足輕重的事，另外一方卻很嚴肅對待。彼此感受出現了嚴重的落差。
這個時候，感到受到傷害的一方，最好坦率說出來，另外一方應該以尊重的態度聆聽，不要急著自衛，或是帶著輕率的態度回應。要以注重彼此的導師學員關係，作為優先考慮，以修補彼此關係為重。
不要惡意運作導師關係
在導師-學員關係中，通常導師會居於主導地位，許多導師就會任意揮舞權力到不當的領域里，即使他們并不知覺。例如，干涉到學員在公司里的工作方式，或是組織人脈關係。這會造成彼此在職場上的負面影響。如果你察覺自己可能不專業的違規了，試著問自己幾個問題：
- 自己的作為是否會侵犯了學員在公司組織的權威，或是妨害了他對項目的領導工作？
- 你是否堅持學員必須依照你的指示，或是尊重他領導發展他工作的方式？
- 你是否會任意更改你對學員回覆的時間，而迫使他必須依照你的行動來調整他的工作？
- 你是否在阻撓學員另尋良師？你是否感到如此會傷害到你的自尊心？
- 你是否放縱學員重複犯錯，而未誠懇的提醒與糾正？
- 你是否以高徒在產業的聲望，為自己的聲望加爵？
一名導師的智慧，總是有限的。他必須將導師輔導的工作交接給下一任。
好的導師要有自覺，和學員討論未來的挑戰與過去的滿意度。雖然交接的過程會根據環境而有不同的感受，學員對於實際吸收到的輔導成果會有差異，而導師應該坦然的接受，把自己公正的評論，交接給下一任導師。
一般來說，導師任務的交接，會因為學員有新的使命，超越了導師的能力，或是導師自己面臨退休年齡，或是另有對他人的輔導承諾，或是承接了新的項目，而必須交接導師責任。
如果導師能夠主動推薦新的導師來接任，而為學員接受，會是完美的導師關係結局。
Six things each mentor should do
We find that the best mentor relationship is more like the relationship between parents and adult children. Closer than between the employer and the employee. They respect each other, trust each other, share common values, and communicate well.
However, there is no norm to follow on how to develop the mentor relationship. This is true in management areas outside academia, whether in finance, consulting or technology.
However, we would like to offer some common observations for your reference.
Considering the importance of guidance, how to be a good mentor is very limited. This is especially true in management areas outside academia, whether financial, advisory or technological. Here we offer a good tutorial script with an informal setup, which, if you like, is largely a team sport as a game. Although we have learned many examples from academia, the experience of different disciplines is relevant.
Choose your student carefully
Effective mentoring takes time. Teachers can use the same time to develop their career goals or to coach others. Although it is very attractive to get a student who is enthusiastic and can bring many projects, it is still very painful to encounter the wrong students.
You should be careful that different trainees have different expectations of their mentors. Some trainees will insist on developing mentoring relationships in their own way. A trainee should be curious, effective, responsible and actively involved.
To distinguish the traits of students, we can do some tests. For example, we can ask students to read a book, and in a few months to reply to his reading experience, discuss together. You can also assign an article, ask the students to read it, and write a report on reading experience in a few weeks, or make a speech briefing. Or, ask him to write down his observations and ideas after visiting clients.
By doing so, you will be able to understand the logic of the students'thinking, communication skills and their interests. If he fails to hand in the assignment, you can take a breath, and you can get rid of receiving a student who lacks commitment.
Establishment of a mentor Advisory Group
Traditionally, the mentoring relationship of one to one is no longer applicable. Modern business often requires different majors in different fields. Few mentors have different majors. Likewise, students who are company leaders are under various pressures. Therefore, mentors must share responsibility with other mentors with different expertise. Highly competent tutors can assume more responsibility for mentoring students, and act as integrated counseling. In some areas where deep technology is required, it can be handed over to the tutor of professional technology. Co-counseling the growth of students.
Although trainees can evaluate and select their own professional mentors, it is better to respect the recommendation of other technical professional mentors by senior mentors, or to discuss the composition of the mentors' advisory group, so that the mentors' advisory group can operate more effectively.
Establishing an Effective Operating Mechanism
The role of a mentor does not necessarily take too much time. Establishing reliable and clear operational rules with students can improve the efficiency of cooperation.
At first, clarify with the student his expectations for the mentor, see if they meet your expectations for him, and build consensus. He may have exaggerated long-term goals, perhaps beyond the counseling capabilities you can provide. Misunderstandings can be costly. Such cognitive differences must be clarified as soon as possible. The general experience is that it is more effective for students to understand the mentor's vision of success.
At the same time, you need to establish rules of communication. Most tutors want to communicate with their students on important topics, rather than receiving random calls or piles of text messages that only tell you the last minute. The instructor can make an appointment with the students to meet once or twice a month to discuss the topic in depth. If there is an urgent matter, it is better to receive a written email from the trainees to explain the background and problems so that the instructor can have time to get to know them thoroughly first.
Finally, make it clear that accountability is not optional. Teachers teach students how to be professional, and can effectively support the growth of students. If a student neglects it and does not take it seriously, the reputation of the trainee and the tutor will be harmed. The deadlines set by both parties must be complied with on time. The promised project must be achieved. Dates must be punctual. Students should not only respect the mentor's time, but also take the initiative to plan the work calendar so that the mentor has time to prepare in advance.
Students should recognize the mentor-student relationship and accept criticism from the mentor. Students must recognize that repeated mistakes are unacceptable. Such repetitive mistakes can hurt the mentor relationship, or even worse.
Avoiding cracks or solving problems
It is almost inevitable that there will be cracks between teachers and students. A seemingly perfect match can also be totally wrong. Mutual expectations are likely to be undermined by an external event, such as the fact that students have to emigrate abroad, which makes the mentor feel that their past work has been abandoned. Or, if the teacher is ill, the students will be afraid that they will not be able to achieve their goals.
Such accidents still happened unintentionally. If the heart has a knot and does not speak out, which leads to the situation that can not be cleaned up, the relationship will be even worse.
If there is such a foreseeable thing, remind each other as soon as possible, or discuss acceptable alternatives to each other.
Usually, mentors can offer solutions on their own initiative. For example, if a student emigrates to a foreign country and asks if he or she is willing to continue counseling, perhaps counseling can be replaced by remote video conferencing.
In another case, neither the tutor nor the trainee knows that there is a rift between them, or that one side feels unimportant, while the other side takes it seriously. There is a serious gap between our feelings.
At this time, the one who feels hurt should speak out frankly, and the other should listen respectfully, without rushing to defend himself or responding rashly. We should attach importance to the relationship between teachers and students, as a priority, and focus on repairing the relationship between teachers and students.
Do not maliciously operate mentoring relationships
In the mentor-student relationship, mentors usually dominate, and many mentors wield their power arbitrarily in inappropriate areas, even if they are not aware of it. For example, interfere with the way trainees work in the company, or organize relationships. This can have a negative impact on each other in the workplace. If you are aware that you may not be a professional violator, try asking yourself a few questions:
- Does his actions infringe on the authority of the trainees in the organization of the company, or hinder his leadership of the project?
- Do you insist that the trainee follow your instructions or respect the way he leads and develops his work?
- Would you change your response time arbitrarily and force him to adjust his work according to your actions?
- Are you obstructing students from seeking another mentor? Do you feel it hurts your self-esteem?
- Do you indulge students to repeat mistakes without sincere reminders and corrections?
- Do you honor your reputation with the prestige of Gao Tu in the industry?
Preparation for handover
The wisdom of a mentor is always limited. He must hand over the tutorial work to the next one.
Good mentors need to be conscious and discuss future challenges and past satisfaction with students. Although the process of handover will vary according to the environment, students will have different results of coaching that they have actually absorbed, and the tutor should accept it calmly and hand over his fair comments to the next tutor.
Generally speaking, the transfer of tutorial tasks will be due to the fact that students have new missions, beyond the ability of the tutor, or that the tutor is facing retirement age, or has other counseling commitments to others, or undertakes new projects, and must hand over the responsibility of the tutor.
If the mentor can take the initiative to recommend a new mentor to take over, and accept for the trainees, it will be the perfect outcome of the mentor relationship.
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