面對自戀者，表現親切些, 可以讓他節制

通常人們不喜歡與自戀者相處。自戀者或是本身容貌出眾，或是才能過人，或是擁有堅實的背後支持等他人不具備的條件，因而容易表現自戀、自負、傲人、自私、說話誇大、對他人不屑一顧。但是，他也可能因為內心有某些貧乏、缺失，有自卑心理，而刻意誇大其他他可以突出的特質。

自戀者也常是團隊里表現傑出者，是公司的明星人物，容易獲得佔有特殊資源，或是優先得到大客戶的特權。他也因而愛惜羽毛，不願意紓尊降貴。

人們會認為這樣的人會提高團隊的工作標準，讓別人工作困難。或是，人們必須分攤他不願意承擔的細微瑣事。他人在他面前，有被低視、被歧視的不舒服感覺。

然而，自戀者也因而容易受到同僚嫉妒、排擠。人們甚至會聯合起來，擺出對他不歡迎的態度。他也因而容易對別人不信任，防衛心理強。

因而，自戀的明星，也經常心理脆弱，感到心靈受傷害，成為團隊里不穩定者。他提出辭職，或要求轉換跑道的可能性比較高。

如果你是這位自戀明星的老闆，或是同事，或是想要幫助他的朋友（當然，你也可以選擇避開他），你不妨試著對他表現得親切些。

你可以這樣對他說：“我們很幸運有你參加了這個項目，尤其是有些人不夠清楚你可以在這個項目作出的貢獻。”先表現出對他的肯定與尊重。接著，你要引導他和團隊成員可以協作。將你安排參與項目的其他人與所分配的工作與工作能力，介紹給他，讓他知道妳對項目組里每個人的評價，并尊重妳的權威與尊重其他人。

另外，你可以安排自戀明星多了解其他人的貢獻與在項目中扮演的關鍵環節，以及所解決的問題。讓她體認自己不能缺少別人的協作，因而可以收斂她的自大行為。

In the face of narcissism, showing friendliness can keep him abstinence

Usually people do not like to get along with narcissism. Narcissists are either good-looking, talented or have solid backing and other people do not have the conditions, so it is easy to show narcissism, conceit, arrogance, selfishness, exaggeration, disdain for others. However, he may also deliberately exaggerate other characteristics that he can highlight because of some inner poverty, lack and inferiority complex.

Narcissists are often outstanding performers in the team. They are the stars of the company. They are easy to get special resources or privileges to get customers first. He also loved feather and was not willing to help him.

People will think that such a person will improve the working standard of the team and make others work hard. Or, people must share the trivial details that he does not want to undertake. Others feel uncomfortable and discriminated against him in front of him.

However, narcissism is also vulnerable to jealousy and exclusion from peers. People will even unite to show their unwelcome attitude towards him. He also easily distrusted others and had strong defense mentality.

As a result, narcissistic stars are often mentally fragile, feel hurt and become unstable in the team. He offered to resign or demand a higher possibility of changing the runway.

If you are the narcissistic star's boss, colleague, or friend who wants to help him (and you can choose to avoid him, of course), you might as well try to be kind to him.

You can say to him, "We are very lucky to have you on this project, especially if some people are not clear about your contribution to this project." First show his affirmation and respect. Next, you should guide him and his team members to work together. Introduce to him the other people you have assigned to participate in the project and the work and ability you have assigned. Let him know what you think of everyone in the project team and respect your authority and others.

In addition, you can arrange narcissistic stars to learn more about other people's contributions and key aspects of the project, as well as the problems they solve. Let him recognize that she can not lack the cooperation of others, so that he can restrain his arrogant behavior.