在給人回饋時，注意你的肢體語言

 

通常在提醒你注意給人回饋意見時，多半會關注在你如何說的方面。但是你的非語言的交流，和你用什麼詞彙交流，是一樣重要的。

如果你的肢體語言會傳遞你的不安或是你有攻擊意圖，會讓對方感到不安全，因而妨礙了他認真傾聽你口頭說的內容。

所以，你最好用積極、開放、支持的語氣，並且保持眼神接觸，讓他注意著聽你說。

不要交叉雙臂。以是當地微小表達你的認清和善意。向他點頭表示你在傾聽，並且用肯定的語氣，像是“嗯”、“對”，或是給予鼓勵“繼續說”。

要確認你的姿勢不會給人你很強勢、高高在上的感覺，以致于讓對方不情願和你對話。

最重要的，如果你不意圖給人回絕，就不要有任何含有這樣感覺的姿勢。

如果你的肢體語言不真實，你的溝通努力就會適得其反。

In giving feedback, pay attention to your body language

Usually, when you're reminded to give feedback, most of you focus on what you say, but your nonverbal communication is as important as your vocabulary.

If your body language will convey your discomfort or your aggressive intention, it will make the other person feel insecure, and thus hinder him from seriously listening to what you are saying.

So, you'd better use a positive, open, supportive tone, and keep eye contact in mind so that he can listen to you.

Don't cross your arms. It's a little local expression of your understanding and kindness. Nodding to him, you're listening, and in a positive tone, like "Yeah", "yes", or giving encouragement. "Go on.".

Make sure your posture doesn't give you a sense of strength and superiority, so that the other person is reluctant to talk to you.

Most importantly, if you don't intend to give somebody a refusal, don't have any posture like that.

If your body language is not true, your effort will be counterproductive.

如果你不能幫助同事，說明原因

要拒絕同事或老闆的請求幫助可能會很難，尤其是如果你擔心會因此得罪人或使人心煩。但是說“No.”並不一定是冒犯人的。

你可以同情你的同事現在的處境--現在他們可能不得不花時間去做這項工作，或者請其他人來幫忙承擔。

如果你說明為什麼你不能做你被要求做的事情，那麼你的拒絕幫助，會讓你的同事接受你的理由（而且更難反對）。

你可能已經有太多事情要做，或者覺得你不能做好他所請求幫助的這項任務。

不管理由是什麼，抱持誠實，禮貌，直率。

If you can't help your colleagues, explain why

It may be difficult to refuse to help a coworker or boss, especially if you worry about offending or annoying someone. But saying "No." does not necessarily mean taking yourself as a prisoner.

You can sympathize with your colleagues in the present situation - now they may have to take the time to do the job, or ask someone else to help.

If you explain why you can't do what you are asked to do, then your refusal to help will allow your colleagues to accept your reasons (and more difficult to oppose).

You may have too many things to do, or feel that you can't do the job that he asks for help.

No matter what the reason is, hold honest, polite, and frank.

你應該以靈活或是嚴格的方式達成目標？

有兩種途徑可以讓你接近達成目標：一種是以靈活的方式發展，逐漸朝著目標前進；或者是以嚴格的作法，按照所規劃的行動來進行。

要決定用哪一種途徑來作，請先考慮你的目標有多麼困難？你已經投下了多少？你還有多少？

若是你距離達成目標相對簡單，你就會有很高的動機去實現他，這個時候，你採用靈活的方式，效果通常比較好。

若是你距離達成目標還比較遙遠，而且你還沒有做出多少努力，那麼制定出嚴格的工作計劃與步驟，把握工作進度，盡可能排除掉其他會干擾的工作，專注地去實現你的目標。

You should use flexible or rigid manner to achieve the goal?

There are two ways to approach your goals: one is to develop in a flexible way, and gradually move towards the goal; or in a strict way, according to the planned action.

To decide which way to do it, think about how difficult your goal is. How much have you invested? How much do you have?

If you reach a goal that is relatively simple, you will have a high motivation to achieve it. At this point, you use a flexible approach, and the effect is usually better.

If you reach the target is still relatively far away, and you don't make much effort, then develop a work plan and procedures strictly, grasp the progress of work, as far as possible to exclude other work will interfere, focused to achieve your goals.

平衡你的情商技能

情商（Emotional Intelligence, EI），是一個強大，有效的領導技巧。但太多的人認為情商是表現體貼、給人愉悅。當然，領導能力確實包含了社交、對事敏銳、對人關切、給人甜蜜感，但是領導能力也包含領導人們具有成就、發揮影響力，以及做衝突管理。關鍵是要有一個平衡。

如果你在一些較軟的情緒技能方面很強，那麼可以專注強化其他領導技巧，例如：給予不愉快的回饋。又如，如何與一位傲慢的同事互動，以及提出挑戰性的工作、做衝突管理、做自我的情緒管理，等等。

Balance your EQ skills

EQ (Emotional Intelligence, EI), is a strong and effective leadership skills. But too many people think that EQ is showing consideration and giving pleasure. Of course, the leadership does include the social, on the matter of concern, to the sharp, sweet feeling. But EQ also includes people with leadership achievements play, influence, and conflict management. The key is to have a balance.

If your soft emotional skill is very strong, you can focus on strengthening other leadership skills, such as: give the unpleasant feedback. And, how to interact with arrogant colleagues? And, put forward the challenge work, conflict management, self emotional management, etc.

當有人惹你心煩的時候，保持冷靜

每個人都有一些他們特別敏感的行為或者他們特別敏感的事情。也許你討厭被人打斷。也許你會因為有人一次又一次的問你同樣的問題而被激怒。

為了讓自己在這種情況下保持冷靜，認知自己的情緒反應模式。

例如，你可能會因為被打斷而生氣，因為這是你上一份工作或人際關係中的一個主要問題。不要讓那些關聯又控制住你了：認清是什麼觸發了你？并做出一個有意識的決定來改變你的情緒。然後從這樣的情境中讓自己脫離開來。

另外一種情緒緊張的狀態是個人化的，究竟是什麼讓你容易心煩？想想，如果這樣的事發生在別人身上，你會如何告訴他如何迴避或是如何克服它？

Keep calm when someone bothers you

Everyone has something that they're particularly sensitive to, or something that they're particularly sensitive to. Maybe you hate being interrupted. Maybe you'll be irritated by someone asking you the same question over and over again.

In order to keep calm in this situation, recognize your emotional response patterns.

For example, you might be annoyed by being interrupted because it is a major problem in your previous job or personal relationship. Don't let those associations control you: recognize what triggers you. Make a conscious decision to change your mood. And then get yourself out of this situation.

Another state of emotional tension is personal. What makes you upset? Think about how this would happen to someone else, how would you tell him how to avoid it or how to overcome it?

遇到一位愛叨唸的老闆

當你的老闆習慣性的說人家八卦，或是對人叨唸一些小毛病，實在會令人尷尬，會感覺到老闆領導上的不專業。

如果你的老闆向你抱怨某位同事的情緒低落，你可以說：“這是一年中最忙的時候。我們有很多客戶的需求，和增加的工作壓力。”

如果你的老闆批評某位同事在過去的幾個月裡上班遲到了幾次，你可以回答說：“我也注意到了，但我有不同的觀點。那個人的通勤真的很艱難，事實上他們大部分時間都能準時到達辦公室，這說明了他們的付出。”

最重要的是，要認知你的老闆不是超人。我們每人都會時不時地滑倒，所以你的老闆偶爾也要放鬆一下。

Meet a fussy boss
When your boss is used to gossiping about people or saying things about people, it can be embarrassing and can make you feel unprofessional about your boss' leadership. 
If your boss complains to you about the depression of a colleague of being late for several times in past few months, you can say, “This is the busiest time of year. We have a lot of customer needs and increased work pressure.”
If your boss criticizes a colleague for being late for work several times in the past few months, you can say, “I've noticed, too, but I have a different point of view. That person's commute is really hard, and the fact that he gets to the office on time most of the time shows what his effort to make it. ”